Shiner
by Alternative Delirium
Summary: Ah, the baffling complexity of a woman's mind. Truth be told, we don't understand ourselves sometimes. Keira is in just such a position. There are only days remaining before this season's racing, and she goes and gives herself a black eye. JakxKeira
1. Part 1

A/N: Yeah, I know, I said I was done. Guess I lied. Anyway, I've been wanting to write a really strong romance as a protest to the end of Jak 3 since it came out, and well, I'm lazy. So here it is, two years later. Yay! Or whatever. So, a few things I should mention before we get started: 1). This has very little to do with After the Storm. It's pretty independent. 2). When I say strong romance, I mean it. There are no explicit sex scenes, so don't go screaming for the hills. I don't work that way. But there's a ton of emphasis on Jak and Keira's relationship... and not much else. Be forewarned. And most importantly, so really read this one, 3). This fic is dedicated to my friend CopyCat87 over on DeviantART. She is THE SHIT and I'll tell you why. One of these scenes was inspired and basically completely ripped from one of her amazing drawings. The name of the artwork in question is Grease Monkeys, so go check it out. Check out all of her Jak and Keira pics, they will make you cry. For realz. That's gangsta for "Seriously. Do it." Okay, enough of my banter for now. Enjoy! (I hope...)

* * *

"CRAP! Oh, _frick_! Crappity crap crap hell damn crap…"

"Keira? Babe, you okay?"

She ignored the concerned query and continued to swear.

"_Shit_ hell and damnation. Bastard son of a _whore_, that hurts!"

Stumbling, frenzied footfalls on the staircase. Jak appeared in the doorway to her workshop, clumsily catching himself against the jamb as he tripped in his haste.

"Hey, what's wrong? What'd you do?"

Again, Keira elected to ignore his remarks. Instead, she made little hopping motions in place while her hands covered her right eye. "Oh, _DAMN _it!" Her voice was losing its angry edge, and this last curse was despairing.

"Keira," Jak began imploringly, approaching her quickly and turning her around to face him. "Honey, what did you do?"

Breath hissed out of her lungs, a painful sound.

"Ugh, I freakin hit my eye. On the bench. I'm okay. _Shit. _I'm okay." She still hid her injury beneath her hands.

"What? How did you… What were you doing?" He seemed confused.

"I dropped my screwdriver. And I bent down to get it, and when I stood up I was too close to the workbench and I caught myself right in the …"

A tiny amused grin was beginning to pull at the corners of Jak's mouth. He suppressed it, but not before Keira noticed.

"It's _not _funny!" she snapped defensively.

Jak quickly altered his expression to one of concern.

"No, no, I know it's not. I'm sorry. Here, come here, let me see." He reached up to touch her face.

She pulled away. "Don't touch it, Jak, _crap _that smarts. Leave it."

"Okay, okay. I won't touch it, I just want to look. Let me see how bad it is," he placated her. He cautiously took her hands and moved them away from her face.

Her eye was shut tight, and the area around it was already turning a vibrant purple. Jak's face fell. He wasn't expecting the bruising to be this bad…

Keira took in his grimace and moaned.

"How bad is it?" she asked, though she already knew.

"Ah, you uh, you're gonna have a shiner, Keir." He made a hissing sound of inarticulate empathy. "Ouch, sweetheart. How hard did you…"

"Ah _shit._" She quickly turned from him, taking a few steps back to the offending workbench. A rearview mirror rested on the counter, and she picked it up to confirm Jak's diagnosis. The skin around her eye was indeed rapidly darkening. In a few minutes, she would have developed a stunning black eye fit for a bar brawl. "Motherfu…"

"Hey," Jak interrupted. "It's really not that bad. It'll fade in a few days."

"Jak, look at it! It looks like I was attacked with a two-by-four! I can't even go out in public with this thing."

Jak did look. She tried to open her eye. It only slid open halfway before she had to blink. Both her green orbs were wet with excess tears. Jak didn't like to see her cry. He closed the gap between them and took her hand in his.

"Oh, Keira, it really is okay. I _promise_ it'll be gone before next weekend's Class Three." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, kissing the tip of her ear. She hugged him back, but after a moment she looked up at him, her face serious despite the wetness of her eyes.

"I'm not crying, love. My eyes are just watering from the impact."

That made sense, and Jak couldn't help but feel a bit foolish. Nevertheless, he didn't release her. He really wished she'd been more careful. He ran his fingers through her hair.

The weight of the situation dissipated as the pain in her eye dulled a bit, and she grinned at him. "You said it yourself, Jak, it's okay. _I'm _okay. No big deal. See?" She stood up on her toes for a second to kiss his lips quickly before coming back down. "Thanks for worrying about me."

He smiled back roguishly. "You're welcome."

A moment of content silence passed between them.

Then Keira whispered close to Jak's ear, "I should get back to work." She had tried for a hint of sarcasm, but the statement came across unenthused.

Jak reluctantly let her go. "Are you sure you can see everything all right?" he joked.

She elbowed him playfully on her way to the vehicle port. "Don't be a jerk," she replied lightly.

"I'm just saying. You want some help with anything?" The question was seemingly innocuous, but Keira's face burned a little anyway. She remembered what had happened two days ago, when Jak had asked that same question and she had gladly accepted the offer. They had popped the hood on one of her racers and done some adjusting to the undercarriage. When everything was finished to her satisfaction, they were both hot and filthy with grease. She was sitting on her workbench when Jak had approached her, shirtless and gorgeous, smudges of oil on his naked muscles, in his short golden hair. He walked straight up to the bench and touched her bare midriff. Remembering it sent a pleasant chill up her spine. There had been no humor in his eyes, no playful sparkle. Just passion. And subsequently, there was no irony in the way she wrapped her leg around his waist, no embarrassed smiles when his hand began to travel up her shirt, no suppressed laughter as she put her hand at the base of his neck and drew him into a kiss…

Afterward, they had made love again in the shower. This kind of spontaneity was becoming more common as their relationship became more comfortable. Keira wasn't used to it quite yet, but God help her, she loved it. It was new and exciting, and she had never loved anyone the way she loved Jak, both emotionally and physically. Now she was always anticipating their next impulsive exploit.

"…thought you wanted to bring in your NYFE today."

Keira shook her head, and tried not to blush visibly. "What? Sorry."

Jak had a knowing smile on his face. She had been caught daydreaming.

"I said I'll help you bring the NYFE in, if you still wanted to. What's on your mind?"

She pretended not to hear this last bit. She turned back to the vehicle port and bent to inspect the socket into which she'd reinstall the rearview mirror later. Unrelenting, Jak followed close behind her. He waited until she had stood back up. She had nowhere to escape to now; Jak was casually blocking her exit.

She glanced up at him, but quickly cast her gaze downward in embarrassed submission when he didn't move to let her pass. She refused to meet his eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" he inquired as innocently as he could.

By this time, her face was radiating heat from the scrutiny. She knew that he must see it. _Oh, to hell with it._

She feigned rubbing the back of her neck so she still didn't have to look at him while she confessed. "Um… Tuesday."

To her immense relief, Jak didn't laugh. He simply continued to grin rakishly at her. He took her in his arms again, lovingly, and she let him slide his hands into her back pockets.

"What about Tuesday?" he asked, not bothering to hide the mischief in his voice. His lips tickled her ear, and she fought not to squirm in pleasure. Instead, she put her hands on his chest and pushed at him until their torsos no longer touched and she could look up at him. His hands remained in her pockets.

"I think you know what," she replied indignantly, this time locking with his gaze bravely as she spoke. "If you don't, I'm certainly not going to tell you."

Now Jak did laugh. For a second he didn't know what to say, but then he rebounded smoothly. He leaned in to kiss her deeply. "You mean up here?" he asked against her mouth, then paused to kiss her again. "Or in the shower?" The bold inquiry caught her just a little off guard, and she laughed, pleased and surprised that he would ask.

She kissed him back, her hands on his chest clenched into fists that clung to his shirt. "All of it," she whispered seductively.

"You know, I can't seem to remember how that all started. I know we were recalibrating the racer, but then what happened?" He was trying so hard to sound sincerely confused that Keira had to fight laughter. "Maybe you should… refresh my memory." He pulled her airtight against him as he finished.

Another deep kiss. Jak tugged at her shirt, gently pushed her up against the racer. She felt that familiar heat shoot through her body like quicksilver. Her heart redoubled its efforts. This was the show, this was what she wished she was doing two years ago, what excited and frightened her so much…

Frightened? Yes, it was there, that wasn't a slip of the mental tongue. But… why? She loved Jak. There was no question of that. And she loved this thrill. She loved sharing herself with him and she _absolutely _loved that he could do the same so freely. What the hell was so scary about that?

Her eyes, even the bruised one, came open as Jak began to pull her top over her head. She stopped his traveling hands just as they touched the underwire of her bra. She flicked her gaze up to meet his. There was no question in his expression. She knew that if she stopped him, he would respect it without bitterness. His hands found a more appropriate perch on her hips. In recompense, she kissed his neck softly. She didn't know what else to do, so she let her head rest where it was, pressed into the hollow between his neck and powerful shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered. Then, haltingly, "I'm sorry."

Jak held her tighter. Those words, every time she spoke them, sounded like a miracle. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Keira. Don't be sorry. For anything."

For an eternal moment, he just held her. The anxiety Keira had been suffering just seconds before ebbed. Another more unwelcome emotion replaced it quickly: guilt. Guilt? God damn it, what was wrong with her? She had nothing to feel guilty about! Okay, so she hadn't exactly given Jak what he'd wanted, but that was her right. But… why _hadn't _she welcomed his advances?

_Oh God, I _do _love him_, she thought desperately. The idea did little to subdue her panic. She _knew _that. That wasn't the problem. Something was bothering her, something was lurking in a dark crevice of her mind that was driving her to keep Jak at arm's length, and she didn't know why. It wasn't that she didn't want it. It wasn't a question of loyalty. _Then what the hell is it? _

Jak seemed to read the silence with psychic accuracy.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded against his chest, not trusting herself to look him in the eye.

"Did I… was it something I did?"

"No," she replied, maybe a little too quickly, peeling herself from his shoulder to make eye contact. "God no. I just… I'm tired, my eye hurts. Just not now, okay?" _Why did I say that? Stop being so defensive! _She gave him an apologetic smile. "Later, though. I promise." She let her fingertips lightly brush the back of his neck. He shivered involuntarily a bit from the touch. Keira laughed quietly. No matter what was going on, it still pleased her that she could make him squirm.

Before he could recover, she kissed him softly on the lips. "I've got it covered up here. I just need to finish up with the mirror and replace the grip on the throttle. I'll be down in a few minutes." She released him and turned back to the workbench. She picked up the rearview and fiddled with it. She could feel Jak watching her, his eyes boring into her neck. Finally, she heard movement behind her.

Angling the mirror over her shoulder, she saw Jak turn away and walk out the door. As soon as his footsteps began to echo on the stairs, she put the mirror down and slumped against the bench. She raked a hand through her turquoise hair and closed her eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

An hour later, Keira shut the lights off in her workshop and stood at the top of the stairs. She paused to take a deep breath before heading down. She didn't really know what she was going to say to Jak when he asked her what had taken so long. The truth was that she hadn't done anything in the way of work in the last hour. She hadn't even put the mirror back on the racer. She'd tried to, but she'd found that she just couldn't focus. Every time she picked up a tool, all she could do was stare at it absentmindedly and wonder why she had the urge to sleep alone tonight.

She just couldn't figure it out.

With no small amount of trepidation, she took the stairs down.

There was no greeting from the living room as she descended. The television was off, the floor lamp the only light in the house now that the sun had set. Puzzled, Keira peered into her bedroom. There was no one waiting for her under the covers. She crossed the room to the door that led to the bathroom. She knocked twice, tried a cautious "Jak?" and pushed the door open. No silhouette in the glazed glass of the shower door.

He had left.

Her heart tightened for a moment in something akin to panic, but quickly converted that energy into depression. He'd probably gotten bored waiting around for her to come down and gone back home to Daxter's. What did it matter that she and Jak had only been living together for a week? He'd had enough time to change his mind. She was certain that she'd get a call from him later, and they'd talk it out then.

Oddly crestfallen, she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. _I guess I _will _be sleeping alone tonight, _she thought as she started to run the water.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Keira was combing out her wet hair when the front door opened. Startled, she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself before coming out of the bathroom to confront her visitor.

Jak was setting fast food sacks and Styrofoam cups down on the coffee table. He looked up, gave her a very fetching grin. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Bemused, Keira watched him pull wrapped sandwiches and fries out of the bags. "What's this?"

"Dinner," he answered automatically. "I mean, it's just burgers and fries, but…"

"I thought you went home."

Her hair was starting to drip onto the carpet. The towel had begun to slip, but she didn't seem to notice. Jak had, of course.

"Do you want me to go home?" he asked half-heartedly. He'd leave, if that's what she wanted. But he sure didn't want to.

"No," she replied firmly. Then, softer, "No." She took a step toward him. "I want _this _to be home to you." Her heart faltered, and she felt herself blush a little. Her mind had been on autopilot all day, and she just now realized the implications of what she was saying coupled with her appearance. She flicked her gaze to the floor, then found the scrap of courage she needed to meet his eyes. "I want to wake up next to you every morning."

Keira knew that everything she said was true. It was such a relief to be caught off guard by emotions that had been overlooked. It was conformation that she really did love him, so much it hurt to even hint at not being with him. The weird mood from earlier had passed. _Thank God._

Jak put the food down and crossed the gap between them. He took her face in his hands. "I'd love nothing more," he whispered. He kissed her. "You're beautiful, Keira."

Her heart twisted. There were those butterflies again. She wanted to hold him so bad at that moment that she almost dropped the towel. She tried to stave it off.

"Even with this thing?" she joked, indicating her eye with a jerk of her head.

Jak smiled and ran his thumb gently under the bruise. "Prettiest black eye I've ever seen."

She smiled up at him, wanting so bad to touch his face, his neck. She would, she decided, just as soon as she got something on.

"Hold that thought." She quickly disappeared into the black recess of her bedroom to get dressed… or at least, partially dressed, she thought mischievously. God, it felt good to be back to normal. What in the world could have made her feel so out of whack earlier?

_Who cares, it's gone now. _

She began to pull a loose shirt on, but was spontaneously struck with a better idea. Grinning playfully to herself, she went to the closet, where Jak had put his clothes until they could get him his own chest of drawers. She selected the button-up flannel shirt that he had worn last Saturday when he had taken her out to dinner. It seemed appropriate that she would wear it while they stayed in for dinner, so she climbed into it and left the first button open.

Completely unsure of how to present herself, she dried her hair with the towel again and left it on the floor. When she came out of the bedroom, she walked directly over to the sofa and sat down right next to Jak so that their thighs touched. She reached for a french fry and caught him staring.

"What?" she laughed.

"I don't know what to say. I'm honored."

"That I'm wearing your shirt?" she laughed incredulously.

"I've got to hand it to you, though. You make it look much sexier than I ever could." He grinned coyly.

Keira matched his smile. "Oh, I don't know about that," she drawled. "You make everything sexy."

"You _are _sexy," he grabbed her wrists and pulled her to him, kissing her neck first, then her lips. The kiss was phenomenal, and she sighed into his shoulder when it had finished. He ran his fingers through her hair, the two of them slouched into one figure.

"You hungry?" he asked quietly, a hopeful lilt to his voice. Keira knew that Jak was probably starving. Her stomach was beginning to growl, too.

"Yeah. Let's eat."

Jak rationed out the sandwiches and felt around in the inside of the bag. "Ah crap, they didn't give us any napkins."

"Hang on." Keira stood up and headed for the kitchen. "I got it."

She flipped the kitchen light on long enough to take a handful of napkins out of a cabinet. As she passed the small table on the way back out, a tiny white square of paper caught her eye. She paused, trying to remember if she had left anything on the table earlier. She reached out and picked it up, scanning its contents.

Jak had left her a note.

_Keir,_

_Went out to pick up something to eat. I hope fast food's okay, I don't know_

_many good take-out places. Don't work too hard up there, we've still got_

_a week before the races start. Be back in a little. I love you, baby._

She didn't know whether it was the term of endearment or just the fact that he had bothered to leave her a note, but suddenly there were tears in her eyes. It was silly, she knew, but every little gesture seemed so profound tonight.

Clutching the note in one hand, Keira stood in the doorway facing Jak as he sat on the sofa. Her head tilted to the side a fraction and the standing tears in her eyes refused to go away as she spoke. "I love you so much." The words came out as a confession, thick.

Immediately, Jak stood and crossed the room to her.

"Shit, what's wrong? Baby? What's the matter?" He was anxious. He touched her face, brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Nothing's wrong." She held out the note for him to see.

He glanced at it, confused. "I don't understand…" General realization dawned on him a second later. His tone went from concerned to loving sympathy. "Oh, honey…" Instinctively, he enveloped her in his arms and spoke into her drying hair. "I love you too Keira. I can't even begin to tell you how much. Please don't cry."

He was making it worse.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting like this. I've been weird all day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry," she repeated, still fighting those damnable tears. Her arms looped about his waist possessively.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked gently.

She thought for a moment. "There's really nothing to talk about. I've just been feeling weird all day." _Shouldn't have said that, _she reprimanded herself.

"What do you mean? Feeling like what? Sick?" His questions weren't prodding insomuch considering the information she had just given him, but how was she supposed to answer that?

"No, nothing like that. Just… weird. I don't know how to explain it." She pulled back and furiously shook the remaining tears out of her eyes. "Your note just caught me off guard. That's all."

"Hey." His tone was mildly accusatory. He took her chin in one hand and gently forced her to meet his eyes. "I know when something's bothering you. I haven't said anything, but I've noticed these past couple of days. I wish you'd just tell me. You know you can tell me anything, Keira."

This gave her pause. He wouldn't let her look away, so she couldn't lie to him. He'd know. It was true that she could tell him whatever she wanted to and know that he'd listen. But she couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't take it the wrong way. Finally, she settled on the safest reply available to her.

"I know."

"But you're still not going to tell me."

_Damn your gorgeous eyes._

She released him with one arm so that she could touch his face. "There's nothing to tell. It's just… oh, I don't know, hormones. If there was a reason, I'd let you know. I promise."

"So it's not me?"

There it was. The million dollar question. Honestly? She wasn't sure. The only times she felt this way were when she and Jak were alone. She didn't want to believe it, but she couldn't rule it out. Pretending she knew was the best way to cope with it.

"How could you even ask that?" she demanded quietly. She didn't have to act hurt; she really was. Just not for the same reason. To put things in perspective and to ease Jak's worries, she told him what she'd figured out so far. "Jak, I _love _you. I'm _in _love with you. I can't imagine being without you. There's no one else, and I thank God every day that you're with me. If I had never seen you again, after that horrible rift gate accident…" She had to stop and take a deep breath. It wouldn't help things if she started crying again. "I don't know how else to say it. I love you." By the end of this speech, she'd even convinced herself that Jak wasn't the problem.

He reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I know you do. I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. If you want to talk it out…"

"You'll be the first to know." She held his palm against her face. "Let's eat, okay? Your fries are getting cold."

* * *

"Don't walk away from that guy, he's got a gun…"

Jak was reclined on the sofa, his length laid out along the cushions and his back propped against the arm. Keira lay against him, her back on his chest, one of his arms languidly draped about her waist. She rolled her eyes.

"He can't hear you, Jak. It's a movie."

He ruffled her hair playfully. "I know that, Keira."

She flinched away from his touch, annoyed that he'd mess with her hair when she'd finally gotten it to dry right. She tilted her head back and glared at him upside down.

Without missing a beat, Jak bent forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Sorry. Bad habit."

They had eaten quickly (both were hungrier than they had thought) and settled in to watch a movie. Something about a bank heist. Jak had been constantly warning the protagonist against "rookie mistakes" since the damn thing had started. It was beginning to grate on Keira's nerves.

She relaxed against him, confident that he would try not to talk through the rest of the movie. He did better… There were a few instances where she felt obligated to elbow him in the ribs good-naturedly.

The credits rolled, and Keira sat up to reach for the remote. Jak tightened his grip about her waist and pulled her back to him. He was trying to be romantically mischievous. The idea appealed to her, and she grinned to herself as he buried his face in her neck.

She let him kiss his way up to her ear, then pulled away from him quickly before he had time to register her actions. She grinned wickedly at him from the opposite end of the couch, her ruffled hair falling back into her eyes. He took in her expression and returned it, his eyes flashing black for a brief moment.

Keira's breath caught in her throat. She knew there was nothing to worry about… His eyes went black sometimes when he was turned on. He'd tried to explain it to her at one point, but he'd seemed embarrassed and she'd let it go. All she knew was that it had something to do with those dark eco experiments that he'd undergone after the accident. And even though deep down she knew that he was harmless, those eyes still scared her.

He blinked once, and his irises were blue again. She sighed with relief, hoping fervently that he hadn't recognized her fear moments before. He didn't seem to.

Jak made a sudden move, like a half lunge, towards her, still grinning playfully.

"Oh crap," she giggled, leaping to her feet and taking a few steps backward. Her eyes never left his. They'd played this game before. As soon as she broke eye contact, he'd come after her. It was predatory, and she _loved_ it.

She backed up until her foot hit the edge of the pile rug behind her. Now she was stuck. If she looked back to gauge her footing, he was going to make a move. If she kept walking, she risked tripping on the rug, and if she fell he was going to be right on top of her. He laughed at her when she gave him a rueful grin. They both knew she'd lost.

Jak stood up and stalked her around the coffee table to where she stood. He took his time, savoring her obvious defeat. As he came to within three feet, her eyes darted to the dark doorway of their bedroom. Before Jak could read this signal, she had made a break for it. He reached for her, but she was too fast. He took off after her, quick on her heels.

It was dark in the bedroom, but some light from the lamp in the living room leaked in. Keira stopped next to the bed, wondering where she had thought she was going. Jak snuck up behind her, and she gasped as in one fluid motion he lifted her off of her feet and lay her back on the bed. She had no time to retaliate. Jak began tickling her ruthlessly.

She squirmed and fought and laughed. She tried to crawl away from his teasing fingers, but he caught her. He pinned both her wrists together above her head with one hand and continued to torment her with the other. "Stop stop stop, oh my God I'm going to kill you Jak seriously I can't breathe _please _stop…" They were both laughing now, fighting for breath. Still, Jak tickled her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, I'll be good, I'll be good!"

He stopped. Keeping her hands above her head, he leant in to kiss her lips. "Yeah you will," he whispered, nipping at her ear. Heat pulsed through her as she tried to catch her breath.

He let go of her wrists, signaling that the game was over. Before he could do anything, Keira took his hands in hers and pulled him down onto the bed next to her. Her fingers intertwined with his and she pressed her forehead against his, their eyes on the same level. "About this morning. I'm sorry. I…"

Jak interrupted. "We've been over this, honey, you don't ever need to be sorry for that. Ever." He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. She gave his hands a squeeze in appreciation.

"I know, but I am." She let go off his hands and put hers on his chest, slowly trailing fire down his torso. "Really sorry." She gave him her sexiest smile when her fingers found his belt buckle. "Let me make it up to you?"

Jak's eyes flashed to black again.

* * *

At three in the morning, Keira woke up suddenly. She checked the clock on the nightstand. Both of Jak's shirts lay haphazardly on the floor. Jak himself lay on his side, rolled away from her in sleep. She sat up groggily, letting the comforter fall away from her body. She gazed around the room, wondering what had woken her. Jak stirred from her movement, and Keira's eyes settled on his naked back. She smiled to herself, remembering how Jak had thought it amusing to take his shirt off of _her _for a change.

Then Jak screamed. Keira jumped, her hand flying to her mouth to stifle a yelp of fright. He began to twitch in his sleep, his eyes clenched tight and his teeth bared in a heart-wrenching grimace. He spoke, but the words were low and unintelligible. She caught "No, enough," and "Leave me." She couldn't do anything but sit and stare in horror at this development.

Jak was still for a second, his body unmoving. Keira was just beginning to think that it was over when he flipped onto his back and shrieked "_Get out!" _He flung the comforter completely off of himself in his thrashing.

Quickly, Keira acted.

She reached out for him, terrified that he'd hurt himself. She touched his chest, tried to shake him. "Jak! Jak! Wake up, love, it's just a dream." He kept twitching. She shook his shoulders harder. "Jak!" Her voice was high with fear. This time his eyes flew open. They darted about the room, then came to rest on Keira. Her eyes were panic-stricken and she was breathing fast. He put his arms around her bare waist and let his head rest on her shoulder without explanation. Instinctively, she held him tight, one hand on the back of his head, fingers combing through his hair softly. He was _trembling_.

_Oh my God, what was he dreaming about? He never does this. He's not scared of anything…_

"Hey, it's okay, baby, it was just a nightmare. Everything's okay," she soothed gently.

"I'm so sorry, Keir. I thought I was done with those…" He spoke into the flesh just below her shoulder.

"Shh, it's okay."

"I scared you."

"No you didn't."

"I know I did. I'm sorry. I haven't had that nightmare for a year now. I don't know why…" he trailed off as another tremor ran through his body.

"Jesus, baby." She held him even tighter. "What's wrong? What nightmare? You're so cold…" She reached behind her with one hand to grab the discarded comforter. She wrapped it around both their naked bodies and held him again, sharing her warmth.

"Always in that damn chair. And then the needles… God. They never stop, it's relentless. It hurts, so much…"

It hit her before he had finished the thought. Tears of anger clouded her vision. How _dare _anyone hurt him like that? She never asked him about the experiments, because part of her didn't really want to know. And she never wanted to remind him of something that gave him such horrible nightmares. She still couldn't fathom that someone had done this to Jak. _Her _Jak. She wanted to find them and hurt them back.

She kissed his neck. "Who hurt you, sweetheart? Do you remember?"

"They're dead. Both of them."

_Damn._

"Okay." He was still shaking, though not as much. Keira didn't realize she was crying for him until a tear fell onto his back and he looked up at her.

He touched her face tenderly. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, honey, I'm fine. I'm just so pissed that they did this to you… Oh, God I'm so sorry Jak. I never realized how awful that must have been. It shouldn't have happened to you. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry." She rocked a little with him, using every technique she knew to make him feel better. "I wish I could take your pain away," she whispered.

He made her stop rocking and kissed her. "You do," he replied softly.

* * *

Later, when Jak had gone back to sleep, his arms still around Keira, she watched his even breathing. She was snuggled up against his chest, one hand stroking his hair absentmindedly. Since Jak had opened up to her about the nightmare, she'd had a lot on her mind. Not only about his wounds and how she wanted so bad to fix them, but the irrational mood she had been in earlier was weighing down on her too. How could she have ever wanted to push him away? If anything, she wanted him closer. But there had to have been a reason for it, didn't there? _Dammit, why can't I figure this out? Something changed between then and now, I've just got to think back. It's got nothing to do with him, I know that. So then it's…me? But what? I'm still me, I haven't been doing anything different. I'm not on my period. So what, then? God, this is frustrating. _

Her last thought before she drifted off was _Damn, my eye hurts._

A/N: Nope, that's not the end! I'm thinking two more chapters. So, raise your hand if you can tell I'm desolatley lonely? Yeah. Sorry if it got a little excessive. But I did warn you, did I not? If you're shaking your head right now, that means SOMEONE didn't read the Note before the story. So shame on you. Go read it now, there's an Easter Egg. Also, thanks again to CopyCat87. You rock. I hope you enjoyed the first installment. I will try my best to be more consistent with the updates on this one. Cross my heart. Please review, you just might save me from an unfortunate skiing accident. Or bear encounter. Or well-placed noose. Peace!

-Alternative Delirium


	2. Part 2

A/N: WARNING: There is a ton of issues in this chapter. Like, halfway through you're all going to be saying, _Oh, come _on! I know. I meant to do it that way. Two reasons: One, the purpose of this story (other than to act as a protest to that God-awful Jak 3 ending) is to point out all that could go wrong in a relationship. It's not intended to put anyone off of pursuing a relationship, it's just me being broken-hearted. And number two: is personal. I'll tell you at the end of the chapter, I don't want to ruin any plot twists. Anyhow, you have been warned. Read on, and drop me a review if you feel like it. I like those.

Oh, and the story is still dedicated to CopyCat87. If you haven't visited her page over on DeviantArt, _do it_. You will regret it if you don't, the girl's got talent. If you haven't been keeping up, this story was inspired by an awesome drawing of hers, titled Grease Monkeys. It was described as a scene in Part 1, but the rest of the plot evolved from that point. So thanks again, CC87! You rock.

* * *

Keira woke up early the next morning, one arm draped across Jak's expansive chest. She watched him sleep for a moment, absentmindedly, before the previous night's events came flooding back.

She removed her arm carefully so as not to disturb her lover. Nevertheless, he shifted in his sleep a bit. She paused, waiting for him to drift deeper before making a move to get out of bed. The poor guy had had little sleep as it was. She didn't want to make him lose even more.

As she sat up and slid to the far side of the mattress, a bad spring creaked loud enough to make her flinch. She turned slowly to look at Jak, relieved that his eyes had remained closed. Sighing silently, she stood and reached for Jak's discarded shirt. She began to pull it over her head when Jak's voice startled her heart into missing a beat.

"Where you going, beautiful?"

She let the top fall past her thighs and ran a pale hand through her hair. "Nowhere, sweetheart. Go back to sleep." She kept her voice low, as if her words would lull him into a recurring slumber.

"I will if you will," he replied. Keira smiled. His early-morning voice was rough and scratchy, just like the stubble beginning to appear around his perfect mouth. _God, he's sexy._

"I'm going to head upstairs for a while. There are a few things I needed to finish up. I promise to keep it down, so you can get some rest, okay?" She sat back down on the bed to rummage through her underwear drawer.

"I'm wide awake, babe."

"Jak, you were up half the night…"

"So were you. Thank you, by the way." His voice had gone tender with this last remark.

She stopped searching for clean panties and turned to him, a sympathetic expression on her face. "Are you okay, Jak?" she asked softly. She reached across the bed to touch his face. "You didn't have that nightmare again, did you?"

Jak sat up, the covers falling dangerously low around his midsection. Keira pretended not to notice.

"No, just good dreams. Very good dreams," he added roguishly, giving her a suggestive grin.

Keira laughed. "Glad to hear it." She stretched out along the bed to claim his lips briefly. "Please get some sleep."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," he rebuked jokingly.

She gave him a withering look. "Don't say that."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he retracted immediately. She knew that he had had one too many close calls to use death as a topic of levity. Still, she pursued his apology.

"You're done saving the world, remember?" Her voice held a hint of anxiety.

"No more dangerous missions," he promised, placing his hands on either side of her face.

"No more dangerous _anything_," she corrected, taking his hands away and giving them a squeeze.

"Anything?" he pouted mockingly.

"You're mine now, Jak. I want you alive."

He smiled warmly, pulling her towards him until she lost her balance and fell into him, her head in his lap. "I guess I can take it easy," he began, looking down at her from his vantage point. "But only if you can promise to do the same for me."

She searched his eyes, puzzled. "I don't follow you."

He ran a hand through her hair, brushing the locks away from her face.

"Racing," he explained.

She rolled her eyes. "That's not the same thing," she sighed.

Jak gaped at her. "Uh, yes it is."

"Are you asking me to give up racing?" she demanded, rolling out of his lap and looking at him right-side up. "Because I can tell you right now that you're better off saving your breath."

Jak was taken aback. "I would never ask you to give up racing, Keir. All I'm saying is _be careful._" He stressed the last two words, meeting her eyes steadily.

She fought off an involuntary grin. "Are you making fun of me?"

"You are hell-bent on putting me in the doghouse, aren't you?" He gave her a bewildered half-smile. "I'm not making fun of you, I'm just returning the gesture. How many times have you told me to 'be careful'?"

"Honey, I'm not going to die racing."

"You don't know that. I want to believe that you won't, but accidents happen. All I'm asking is that you stay safe. You're mine too, you know."

Keira's heart tightened in her chest. There was something very liberating about having a strong, sexy guy claim ownership over you. She levered herself up to his height and met his blue gaze, lips hovering just centimeters away from his. "Yeah," she smiled. "I guess I am."

Jak kissed her, unable to resist. His stubble rubbed her skin intimately, and she laughed against his mouth. Surprised, Jak broke the kiss and studied her face, bemused. "What?"

She smiled and touched his cheek, running her thumb over his whiskers.

He grinned his understanding and ducked forward to brush his cheek against hers. She giggled and pushed him away playfully. He retaliated by lunging forward and pinning her to the mattress, a mischievous glint in his eye. She laughed, but continued to push at his chest. He backed off a little.

"No, I've got work to do." She tried to make her tone firm, but her smile gave her away. She kissed his lips to cover for her inadequate defense. "God, I love you."

"I love you too. But you work too much. Can't we just hang out here for an hour or two?" He gave her his puppy dog eyes, a look that he kept in reserve for special occasions. She fought the magnitude of those beautiful blues and sighed wearily. He tried a different tact. "C'mon, Keir, it's six in the morning. Please just come back to bed with me. At least until normal couples start waking up."

"Jak…"

"Keira…" he mimicked.

She punched him gently in the arm.

"You hit like a girl," he grinned. She brought her fist back again threateningly. "Oh, I mean, 'Ouch.'"

Her demeanor cracked and she laughed. She made to get up, but his arms blocked her exit, and he didn't move. An awkward moment passed where neither gave any ground.

"Baby, the racer will still be upstairs in an hour."

Finally, Keira caved. There really was no good reason to get up at the moment. She wondered briefly why she had been so eager to be out of Jak's presence, but quickly shook it off. "Okay." She touched his neck.

"Really? That easy?" he teased.

"I just love it when you call me that," she teased right back, draping her arms around his neck loosely.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Hmm. Don't abuse it," she warned, pulling him down closer to her body. He kissed her victoriously and lay back next to her, his arms wrapped around her waist to ensure that she wouldn't try to leave. She had no intention of doing so, however, and demonstrated this by snuggling up against his bare chest. Jak sighed in content and let one hand travel up the back of her (or rather, his) shirt to caress the naked flesh of her back.

Keira shivered in delight as his rough fingertips lightly traced circles along her skin. She began to say something, anything to let him know that she loved and appreciated him, that she would do anything for him if it meant that he would continue to touch her like this for years to come. Regrettably, articulation abandoned her in her moment of need.

She settled for "Oh, Jak… Do you have any idea how wonderful you are? You are so good to me." As an afterthought, she added, "I don't deserve you." She had meant to sound grateful, but the truth of what she had said hit her almost immediately. To comfort herself, she clung tighter to his chest.

"Hey, where is this coming from? That's BS, Keira. You deserve the world. You're the sweetest, caring, most beautiful girl I've ever met. You love your friends and can't stand to see anyone in pain. I can't imagine anyone with more good qualities. Besides, you're better to me. If anything, _I_ don't deserve _you_." He continued to stroke her back, enjoying the little shudders he was inducing.

"Dammit Jak, stop being so nice to me."

"I love you, Keira. There's nothing you can do about it." He slipped his other hand beneath her shirt and let his knuckles brush her hip and continue along her waistline. The sensation made her buck away and stifle a cry of pleasure. "Oh God…" she moaned.

"Knock knock," a strident voice called out from the doorway. "Your doggy-door was unlocked and no one was answering the… Holy socks of the Precursors, I didn't realize this party was clothing optional!"

Without missing a beat, Jak threw the comforter over Keira to shield her partial nudity from the intrusive rodent standing slack-jawed on the other side of the room. She made herself as small as possible, not quite comprehending what had just occurred. She peeked out from under the blanket to see Jak run to the door and slam it in Daxter's face.

"Jesus, Dax, think you could try the goddamn doorbell before walking in on someone? You douchebag!" His face had gone deep red, whether from anger or embarrassment Keira couldn't tell. He stood with his back against the door in all his naked glory, running a hand through his short hair in exasperation.

He caught Keira's gaze and tried to smile, albeit awkwardly. "Shit, sweetheart, I am so sorry. I swear I didn't know he was going to show up…" He trailed off, her bewildered expression too much for him to bear. "I'll uh, I'll get rid of him." He turned away so that she wouldn't see him suppressing laughter. He found his shorts and pulled them on quickly, opening the door as minimally as possible before sliding out to confront his best friend.

Keira didn't move for a solid minute. _What the HELL just happened?_ She hadn't had time to get mad over it just yet, but now she was concerned with how much Daxter had seen… Suddenly, the bedroom seemed very lonely. She hugged her knees to herself, feeling the color rise to her face. She could hear the two of them talking in low voices in the living room, and it did nothing to quell her rapidly developing mortification. With a determined noise, she tossed the comforter away and stood up, straightening the shirt, and opened a drawer to retrieve her pajama bottoms.

Before joining the boys in the other room, she pressed her ear to the door to listen in on their conversation.

"… had no idea. I thought you'd still be asleep, I mean it's not even eight yet, what are you guys, animals?"

The irony was not lost on Jak.

"I've got a good thing going on here, Dax. You know how long I've waited to be with her. The last thing I need is for you to scare her away." His voice was vehement.

"Whoa, whoa, buddy. I don't want anything to screw up your 'good thing.' I'm just trying to apologize for… well, _that_." Daxter's tone shifted down in pitch, making him sound flirtatious. "Congrats, by the way. She has one _hell _of a physique. I bet you love doing body work on her, doncha?"

Keira's mouth opened in disbelief. Part of her wanted to hear what Jak would say to that, but the offended part of her wanted to drop-kick the furry bastard out a window. She opened the door.

One look at her expression and Daxter changed his tune. "So, yeah, I thought I'd pop in to see if I could get some help moving some crap around at the Ottsel later on. Sig was saying the other day that I ought to fung shui the place up to appeal to the chic crowd. Wanted to try it out before the racing fans start funneling in next week… I expect there'll be a huge turnout this season, with Keira on the track." He threw her a jovial grin. "'S'up, hot stuff?"

"At the moment? My blood pressure," she responded drily.

Daxter's face fell. Keira turned her attention to her boyfriend. He definitely looked a little pissed. Maybe a tiny bit nervous. She waited for him to say something.

"Daxter, maybe you should leave. I'll call you about the Ottsel later on. You should use the doorbell next time. I'm serious." Jak couldn't meet Keira's eyes, so he made fervent eye contact with Daxter instead.

When Keira looked back at Jak's friend, Daxter was studying her face with an odd expression. Irritation mounting, she snapped "What?"

"Nothing," he covered, shaking his head and backing toward the front door. "I'll uh, catch you two later. Take it easy, guys." He leapt through the doggy-door and was gone.

The couple stood in silence, staring at the door. Finally, Jak tried to dispel the tension.

"I'm sorry about that. If I had known he was… I'm gonna nail that pet door shut." He took a tentative step towards her.

She dropped her crossed arms and gave him her eyes. "It's not your fault." She gestured at the vacant doorway. "He's just a thickheaded jerk. Completely insensitive. I can't believe he _said _that…" She spoke this last bit to herself, but Jak looked up sharply.

"I… didn't realize you could hear him." He closed the gap between them and reached for her. "I was about to deck him, Keir, but then you came out and… Look, he doesn't mean half of what he says. He's just got to be the funny guy, you know?"

"I didn't think it was very funny." She made no move to accept his embrace, but he took her in his arms anyway.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for his behavior. He's a real pain in the ass, I know. I'm on your side. Please don't be angry with me, babe. I hate it when you're angry at me." Reluctantly, she looped her arms around his neck to prove that she wasn't.

After a moment, she attempted to slip away from him. "I'm going to get dressed."

Jak held onto her wrist for a moment, his eyes scrutinizing her. She looked down. "Hey." She glanced at him fleetingly. He took a step closer and kissed her just above the eye. "Does it hurt much?" he asked tenderly. She didn't know what he was talking about at first.

"Oh… no. As long as I don't put pressure on it." She remembered the way Daxter had appeared to be studying her face earlier. _Ah, crud. Now the whole city will know._

"Good." He smiled warmly at her, relinquishing her wrist. "I'll get breakfast started."

She grinned appreciatively, backing away from him a few steps before turning around and vanishing behind the bedroom door. As she collected a fresh top and jeans from her dresser, she silently reprimanded herself for letting the little rat get on her nerves. She'd known Daxter for just as long as she'd known Jak. She knew that he was a sarcastic, spiteful little rodent, even before he'd taken a tumble into that vat of dark eco. And Jak was right, he never meant things the way they came off. He'd meant to compliment her body, and it was bad luck that it had sounded chauvinistic. Though that still didn't mean she had to be nice to him.

She opened the door a crack and spied Jak at the sink across the kitchen. He hadn't bothered to don anything other than the shorts he had pulled on a few minutes earlier and was now busying himself with the few dishes that had been abandoned yesterday. Watching his naked back, she felt a flood of love for him. The logical part of her brain told her that these mood swings made absolutely no sense. Just a moment ago, she had been aggravated at him through association with Daxter's sexist remark. Now she was seriously contemplating sneaking up behind him and kissing every inch of his body. She shook the naughtier aspects of what that would entail out of her head, grinning to herself.

She did approach him, but only to wrap her arms around his tight waist. He glanced at her over his shoulder, mildly surprised. She kissed the spot where his arm joined his shoulder. "You don't have to do those, sweetheart."

"Gotta pull my own weight, don't I?" he teased.

"Are you going to go help Daxter out later?" She rested her chin on the shoulder she had just kissed.

Jak dried his hands on a towel and turned around to face his girlfriend. He pushed her hair behind one ear. "Do you think I should? I'm not real crazy about him right now. I didn't think you were either."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't give him a hand. He's harmless, love. Do whatever you think you should do."

He smiled and kissed her lips softly. "Okay. But if he says one more thing about you being gorgeous, I'll break his legs."

She laughed. "Don't worry about it. He's just trying to make you feel better about your life decisions."

"I don't know, I think he's onto something…" Without warning, he scooped her up in his arms, a full foot off the floor. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist to prevent herself from falling and clasped her hands behind his neck. His arms held her in place just under her thighs. She laughed at the situation that they had suddenly found themselves in.

"You're such a romantic," she joked, her hands finding purchase in his sleep-tousled hair.

"I try," he retaliated roguishly, kissing whatever parts of her he could reach.

She pressed her forehead against his and fell into his beautiful eyes for a long moment. They stayed that way until Jak's stomach let out a feral sound, like an injured animal about to bite. Keira glanced down at his abs wide-eyed. When she looked back up at him, he was grinning in embarrassment.

"Guess I'm hungry," he explained.

She smiled and laughed quietly, kissing him briefly. "Then let's get you some breakfast." She unwound her legs from his waist and levered herself to the floor.

"About that…" he walked to the refrigerator and opened the door to reveal very little in the way of food. "Think we need to hit the store, sugar. Orange juice only has so much nutritional value."

Keira put her hand on her forehead in a gesture of exasperation. "Ugh, I _knew _there was something I needed to do yesterday…"

Jak let the fridge door fall shut. "Don't sweat it, I'll head out and grab something."

"No, I'll go. I've got a list somewhere…"

Jak pulled a small scrap of paper off of the refrigerator door and held it out to her. "Like this one?" he asked.

She took the list and stuffed it into her back pocket, reaching for the zoomer keys on the counter. Jak followed her out of the kitchen and to the front door. She turned the knob and began to move outside, then paused. "I'll be right back. Don't bail on me, okay?"

She started to pull the door closed behind her when Jak called, "Baby, wait."

She pushed the door wider and looked at him quizzically. He retraced his steps back to the coffee table and picked something up, which he brought back to Keira. He held up his sunglasses to show her before slipping them over her ears. "There. Now people won't ask dumb questions."

She'd once again forgotten about her bruised eye. She looked up at him through the tinted lenses. "Thank you." She touched his face, then started to pull away. Jak reached out and stopped her again, taking her hand.

"I love you."

Her heart tightened, making it hard for her to breathe around it.

"I love you too. I won't be long."

Jak stepped out onto the front stoop, unheeding of his partial nakedness. Their lips met in a heated goodbye kiss.

She approached the parked zoomer, swung one leg over and watched Jak vanish behind the door. She immediately missed him, missed the sight of his muscular torso and powerful shoulders…

_Better make this an expedient trip, _she thought urgently.

*

Keira had gathered the basic staples in a little less than half an hour at the market. She was hunting down milk when her mind began to wander.

_I really need to get that stupid grip reinstalled so Jak can help me bring in the NYFE. I've got to get out to the garage later and take it around the track a few times to get a feel for the modifications. Oh, and I need to pick up some wax… And check the competitors' stats again. I'm gonna have my work cut out for me if that Kras City team throws their lot in… _

She bit her lip. This was a thought that she was trying to avoid for obvious reasons. She'd raced against the Kras boys last season when they'd decided to sign up, and they were good. _Real _good. Yeah, she'd beat them, but part of that was due to Jak's aggressive driving. And she had all but made him promise that he'd stay off the track this time. In hindsight, that looked like a bad move. She knew that she was a better driver than Jak, if only by a small margin. But it helped to be able to rely on someone else when she was in a pinch.

"Ah, _shit,_" she hissed out loud, reaching for a half-gallon of chocolate milk. Irritated at the fine print of the expiration date, she pushed Jak's sunglasses up onto her head to see better.

"Keira?"

Startled, Keira swung her gaze in the direction of the familiar voice. She was momentarily confused before she remembered to look down.

"Tess. Hi." She tried to cover her surprise with a friendly smile. "How are you?"

The ottsel smiled back, but her expression fell in uncertainty. "Hey. I'm great, never better. Still getting used to this height." She took a step closer. "How are _you_?"

"I'm…" she paused for a moment, still pushing away insecurities about the upcoming races. "Fantastic. Keeping busy." She brandished the milk before placing it in the basket on her arm. "Thought I'd make an early grocery run before getting to work."

"Are you nervous about next week?" Tess took another step, closing the space between them.

"No. Well, yeah, maybe a little. But that's a good thing, right? If I wasn't nervous, I wouldn't work as hard for it." She surprised herself with this instantaneous advice. "Where, uh, where's your less-than-better half?"

Tess grimaced. "I am so sorry about that, Keira. Daxter's at the Ottsel, probably breaking his back rearranging things. I don't think he expects Jak to show up, after…" She trailed off awkwardly.

Keira shook her head. "It's okay. I mean, it's not okay, but… I'm over it. Though I wouldn't mind if you punched him in the dice for me."

Tess laughed, and Keira joined her. It felt good to just let go.

"He really is sorry, though. He came home and was so upset he wouldn't say anything until I threatened to put his beloved pants through a paper shredder." She gave a shrug. "Anyway, he told me what happened. He's really embarrassed."

Keira fought the urge to say _How do you think _I_ feel?_

Tess continued, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. "He told me about… something else, too. Keira, I have to ask, as a concerned friend. What happened to your eye?"

Keira stiffened at the unexpected intrusion into her personal life. She had a vague idea of where this was going, and she didn't like it one bit.

"I gave myself a black eye working yesterday. Dropped a screwdriver." Her voice was defensive.

The ottsel's shoulders drooped. "Keira, come on. Who gives themselves a black eye dropping a screwdriver? You can tell me. I just want to help you."

"I don't need help, Tess. It was an accident." She tried to keep her tone conversational, but there was definitely a hard edge creeping in.

"Did… did Jak hit you?"

"What?" she exclaimed incredulously. "No! My God, Tess, no, he's never… Jak would never hurt me. If you think for one second that he'd lay a hand on me, you must not know him very well," she replied heatedly, offended. She made a move to step past her friend, but stopped and whirled to face her. "I can't believe you. First your worthless boyfriend walks in on us, and now you have the nerve to accuse mine of _this_?" She pointed to her bruise. "Goddammit, Tess, Jak loves me."

Tess was frantic, horrified that she had upset Keira so much. "I know he does, I know. All I was saying is that, well, he does have a pretty infamous temper. And half the time, I hear he can't even control himself…"

"He is in one hundred percent control of himself. At all times. And he had nothing to do with this."

"Keira, I know he has violent tendencies…"

_I'm about to have a violent tendency right here and now._

"He's done with all that. And even if he was still saving the world, he would never, _ever _do that to me. If you don't believe me, ask him yourself. He's completely harmless."

Seeing that she wasn't gaining any ground, Tess backed off. "Okay. I'll take your word for it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off. I just want you to know that I care."

Keira lost some of her previous vehemence. She sighed. "Thank you, really. For looking out for me. But honest to God, Tess, Jak did not do this. I'm usually pretty smart about getting out of those kind of relationships." She smiled grimly.

Tess didn't ask. Instead, she motioned for Keira to come closer. Obliging, she set her basket down and knelt in front of Tess so that they were on level with one another. Before she could do anything, Tess stepped forward and hugged her neck fiercely. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

Keira hugged her back. "Yeah, you too. I'll see you around."

"You bet you will. Give 'em hell on the track."

Keira stood and retrieved her groceries, grinning. "Damn straight." She waved as she walked around to the next aisle, still a little shell-shocked at what Tess had implied.

Shaking it off, but still irritated, she headed for the checkout.

_Am I overreacting? All she wanted to do was help if I was in a bad situation. But still, I can't stand the idea that she thinks Jak could be capable of… No. Just no. I can't even fathom it. Jak _loves _me. I love him. And I really need to get home to him now, before I lose it in a public market. _

As she stood behind another customer in line to check out, her eyes came to rest on the strategically placed last-minute impulse-buy shelf. Candy, packs of cards, and cheap pens. Her gaze wandered absentmindedly over the trinkets until a compact pink box stole her attention. Her breath caught in her throat at an involuntary thought brought to mind by the commonplace product.

_Oh my God. What if… It would explain these annoying mood swings. But, we've been safe. Most of the time. Oh shit oh shit oh shit… No, this can't be happening. Not now. There is no freaking way…_

"Miss? Can I help you?"

Jerked out of her troubled reverie, Keira looked up at the clerk and offered a shaky smile. "Sorry." She tucked the pregnancy test into the basket and placed the whole thing on top of the counter to be scanned.

*

She snuck inside without alerting Jak. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and hefted the grocery sacks into the kitchen. Placing the bags on the table, she dug around inside one to locate the pregnancy test before Jak saw it. It wasn't in the first bag, and in irritation Keira cursed a little louder than she had wanted to.

Floorboards above her creaked.

"Keira? You home?"

She cursed again, quieter. "Uh, yeah, just putting the groceries away," she called up. She began sorting through the second bag.

Footsteps coming down the stairs. In her panicked haste, the brown paper sack ripped at the base and spilled its contents across the linoleum.

"Agh," she moaned, getting to her knees to retrieve the scattered things.

Jak appeared in the doorway. "Wow. It is not your morning, is it?" He knelt down next to her to help.

Despairing, she turned to look at him. He had pulled on a pair of ragged jeans, but remained shirtless. She watched his hand reach out and grab the loaf of bread, under which peeked an indiscreet pink box…

Quickly, she threw herself at him. He barely caught her in his arms, abandoning the bread and hugging her to him. "What the…"

"I missed you," she invented, arms locked around his neck. They stood up slowly together. Jak eyed her with concern.

"Did something happen? What am I missing here, babe?"

"I just… um…" she stuttered.

Her fleeting eye contact gave her away. "Keira? I am so confused right now. What's wrong?"

She looked at the floor. "I… ran into Tess. At the store."

"Yeah? Was Dax there too? Did you get into it with him, is that what this is all about?" His tone was soft, making the persistence forgivable.

"No. Just Tess. And she was worried about me." She gestured at her black eye when he gave her a quizzical look. "She said something really… hurtful."

Jak took her face in his hands and angled it to meet her eyes. "What'd she say?"

Hesitantly, Keira divulged her earlier confrontation with the female ottsel.

"She asked me if… if _you _did this."

A shadow passed over Jak's face. He said nothing for a moment, and Keira didn't blame him. In his shoes, she wouldn't know what to think either.

"What did you tell her?" he finally spoke, his voice gentle.

"I told her what happened. I gave myself a black eye working. She didn't believe me." Her hands snaked up his arms, coming to rest on his shoulders. "I told her she didn't know what she was talking about." Tears were biting at the back of her eyes by now, anger and frustration that the world didn't view Jak the way she did proving too much to bear. Her voice was thick. "It's not right. You would never…"

"No. I wouldn't. Never," he interrupted firmly. He kissed her bruised eye, then her lips. "It's okay, Keir. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants to think, as long as you know that I wouldn't… I _couldn't _do anything to hurt you. I love you." He held her tighter to illustrate this.

"I love _you. _That's why this is so hard for me to just let it go. Ugh, she's so _stupid_…"

His hand combed through her hair in a soothing gesture. "Shh. You can't make people think the way you do, love. If she knew us better, her opinion would be different. But she was just looking out for you. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do? You shouldn't be too angry at her."

"I know." She kissed his mouth. "Nevermind. Why don't you get something to eat? I'll clean this up."

Taken by surprise at her complete and sudden dismissal of the issue, Jak held her at arms' length and studied her.

She shied away from his eyes yet again.

"Uh huh. What are you hiding from me this time?"

Keira resisted the urge to run. _I really need to work on my distraction technique…_

"Keir, come _on._ This is really starting to make me feel excluded." His expression was tired. She thought she detected a hint of indignity in his voice.

"Nothing! Jak, nothing. I'm not hiding anything from you. I told you, I'm just in such a weird mood…"

"For _two days_?" He refused to let her go.

When she deigned not to answer him for a solid minute, he pushed her against the counter, effectively pinning her in place and making her look up at him in alarm. He was careful with her, but firm. He only wanted to get her attention in the most demanding way possible without hurting her or otherwise making her uncomfortable.

Her eyes were wide in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"Let me in, Keira. I don't know what I did to lose your confidence, but I am sorry. I just want you back. Please. Tell me what's going on in your head right now." His voice was low, just above a growl. His face was drawn, his teeth clenched, his eyes burning with a restrained intensity.

Keira stood locked in place, at a loss for words. Was he really that angry with her? She couldn't understand how passionate he had become over this when he had been shrugging her odd mood fluctuations off since they had begun. Maybe he had been hiding how he really felt so as not to aggravate the situation. Even though she knew that he was just stressed out, she couldn't help but remember what Tess had said. _Sometimes he can't control himself… _

Jak registered the fear in her expression and immediately altered his own. The fire disappeared, and the hard lines on his forehead softened. She was actually _afraid _of him! That was the one thing that he hoped to avoid at all costs. It was more devastating than anything she could have been keeping from him.

He slackened his grip on her arms. "Keira, baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just… Please, don't…" His voice wavered. "You look so scared. Don't be. I'll leave it alone. I won't ask about it anymore."

At this point, she had regained the ability to think. He was frustrated. And while exerting his dominance was a little drastic, she knew he didn't mean it. He was afraid that she was pulling away, and he couldn't handle that. She shifted, and his hands fell away. She touched his chest in a hesitant gesture of forgiveness.

Jak took her hand.

"I'm sorry. Keira, I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I know. It's okay."

"No it's not!"

" We've just been over this. You wouldn't have hurt me. You're just frustrated. And you have the right to be, I've been a pain."

"I promise, it won't happen again." He touched her neck, fingers lightly brushing her nape. In a softer, frightened tone he added, "You're going to leave me, aren't you?"

Keira panicked.

"What? No! Never! Jak?" She took him in her arms desperately. He returned the embrace without reluctance. "Baby, I love you. I don't want you to go anywhere." She kissed his neck twice. "Why would you… oh, honey…" She shut her eyes against all the confusion and pushed her forehead into his chest for comfort. He slid one hand up her back to her head, keeping her firmly pressed against him.

They stood in silence for a long moment, the only sound their tentative breathing. Neither one wanted to give any indication that there was any unresolved tension in the room for fear of alienating the other.

Finally, Jak spoke.

"I love you more than anything. Do you know that?" His voice was a half-whisper.

She wanted to cry. Finding her own voice had abandoned her, she nodded into his chest.

"I never want to hurt you. And I never want you to think I could. I will never, ever, do anything like that again. If I had done anything to…"

With a half-choked cry of torment, she silenced him with a kiss. It was too much.

"I love you," she repeated, pulling away a few centimeters. "There is nothing you could do that would make me love you any less. Is that what you're afraid of?"

His body stiffened. He didn't reply.

"Oh God, that's it, isn't it? You think… these stupid mood swings… You are _not _the reason I keep… Jak, it's not you. I am not thinking about leaving you. That's the farthest thing from my mind! Sweetheart…" Her placation trailed off into an inarticulate moan of anguish.

Jak pulled away and looked down at her with wounded eyes. She met his troubled gaze and felt emotion biting the backs of her eyes again. Her voice lost all its remaining confidence and strength. "What do I have to do to prove that I love you?" she asked pitifully.

"Let me in," he replied, his voice deflated and spent. "Tell me what's wrong. That's all I want. I need you to be able to trust me, Keir."

She held his eyes in silence, uncertain.

"_Please_." His damaged expression was unwavering, and it broke her heart.

She nodded, deciding without too much trouble that the secret wasn't worth losing Jak.

She slipped away from him slowly, edging closer to the discarded loaf of bread. She knelt down and picked up both the bread and the miniscule box hidden beneath. She stood, her back to Jak, and left the loaf on the counter. Inhaling deeply to brace herself, she turned and faced him. They were no more than two feet apart, but Jak took a step towards her anyway.

She fiddled with the box, hiding its label for a moment while she readied herself for his imminent reaction.

His eyes darted from her face to the box. Finally, Keira held it out to him, her eyes downcast.

Jak's fingers brushed hers as he took the test from her. She withdrew a few inches, still studying the floor and waited for him to figure it out.

Everything was deadly quiet for a few eternal seconds.

He shifted, his jeans rustling. Keira looked up fleetingly, terrified that he was about to walk away. Jak hadn't moved, only transferred his weight. He was watching her with an expression she couldn't quite place. It reminded her of a wild animal trying to decide whether or not to take food out of someone's hand. She exhaled to mask the sob that caught in her throat, turning and leaning against the counter.

She heard movement behind her and closed her eyes, prepared to let Jak leave with his dignity intact. She gasped when she felt his arms slide around her waist instead. Gratefully, she took his arms and wrapped them about herself tighter. He obliged willingly. His warm breath beat evenly on her neck, and she leaned into him, waiting for him to speak.

After a time, he did.

"We might be pregnant, huh?" he intoned gently.

Relief washed over her as he spoke. He wasn't going to desert her. The reprieve was short-lived, however, as she fully grasped the situation. It took on a whole new reality when spoken aloud.

She hesitated. "Maybe." She shivered.

"Keira."

Slowly, and with a little help from Jak, she rotated in his arms. Even though she knew he was taking the news extremely well so far, she still found it hard to meet his eyes.

"Hey." He kissed her forehead, and she looked up at him. "What do you think about this?"

"About… being pregnant?" she confirmed. The words were foreign, hard to form in this context. "I… I don't know." She paused. Then, in a quieter tone, "I'm scared, Jak."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby." He held her to him, one hand combing through her hair. "I'll be right here. No matter what."

She clung to his bare chest. "I don't think I'm ready for this. Not yet."

"Do you… do you want to get rid of…"

She looked up at him, horrified. "Jak! We don't even know if I'm really… not for sure… and I don't think I could…"

"Okay, okay, shh," he cut in, squeezing her hand. "I was just throwing out an option. I don't want you to, either."

Feeling confused, rushed and pushed into something she wanted no part of, she snapped.

"Goddammit, can I take the stupid test before we all freak out?" Immediately, she regretted it. She groaned and kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Shit, Jak, I am so sorry…"

"No no no no no, hey, listen, I know, okay? We're jumping the gun. One thing at a time, sweetheart. Let's… let's take the test." He held the box up in one hand. "Says it takes three minutes. Okay." His left arm still draped around her midsection, he walked her out into the living room. They stopped just outside the bathroom door.

Jak stood directly in front of her. He released her long enough to tear the box open and remove the pregnancy test. He handed it to Keira.

"Are you ready to do this?"

She took the stick. "I just want to get it over with. I want to know."

He stepped forward and kissed her. "I want you to know, whatever the results say…"

She caressed his neck briefly. "I know. Thank you."

He captured her hand before she could draw away and kissed it. "I love you, Keira."

Quickly, she threw herself into his arms and hugged his neck. She kissed his lips. "I love you too."

Just as quickly, she released him and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She watched Jak through the ever narrowing crack as she pulled it shut. He never took his eyes off of her.

_I'm not ready to be a mother. Oh, please God, let the test be negative. Still_… she thought, her fear subsiding a fraction. _If it's inevitable, there's no one I'd rather have a baby with._

_But I'd still rather the test be negative._

A/N: ... So I originally wanted to make this a three part deal, but this chapter got a little out of hand. So I figure I'll add at least another chapter to the total. Cuz I thought I knew where this was going to end up, but a few more possibilities have arisen since I invented this convoluted little tale. Anyhow, I think I promised you the second reason at the end of this chapter. Here goes: The whole 'might be pregnant' scenario is a reflection of something that happened to me recently, and the way Jak and Keira handle it is how I wish my best friend would have treated me. So I guess I was kinda venting a little. FYI, turns out I'm not. Thank _God_. That would have been a mess. Whatever. Oh, also, the characters' views do not necessarily represent my own. I'm actually pro-choice. Like that matters. Thought I'd throw that out. Hmmm. What else? Please review if you have the time! Peace easy.

-Alternative Delirium

* * *


	3. Part 3

A/N: It has come to my attention that there is an overabundance of fics on Keira being pregnant. I had no idea that this was the case. To tell you the honest to [insert deity here] truth, I hadn't done the legwork to make sure that the pregnant plot hadn't been beaten to death. My apologies. In other news, I am really really bored. Which is why I have been writing all night to bring you part three. I do belive that there is only one chapter left in me for this one, so hang tight. Thanks to all of you who've dropped me a review so far, those are extremely helpful.

This fic is dedicated to my pal CopyCat87, as the inspiration for a scene that grew into this story came from her awesome piece "Grease Monkeys" over on DeviantART. If you feel like checking her out, don't stop with Grease Monkeys, there are a ton of other great JxK drawings of her doing too. Hell, everything she's got on the site is great, I just don't know the story behind most of it. Anyhow, hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Read on.

* * *

Saturday afternoon, Keira sat at the foot of the staircase, head in one hand. She had been motionless for some minutes, concentrating on one thing only. She was alone in the house; Jak had taken off earlier to help Daxter finish refurnishing the bar. And though she was trying to focus her energy on problem solving, her mind kept wandering back to the previous day.

She had taken the pregnancy test as planned. She set the stick on the sink and washed her hands, her eyes never leaving that tiny paper window. _Three minutes._ She crossed her arms over her chest and stood waiting. The seconds ticked by at an agonizing pace.

The bathroom door creaked open. Jak entered, every movement cautious and deliberate. She glanced at him over her shoulder, her expression tense. Jak stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders protectively. Keira dropped her crossed arms and reached back to hold one of his hands where it rested. No words passed between them for the first minute.

Suddenly, Keira whirled around and buried her face in Jak's bare chest. Her hands gripped his shoulders as if they were dancing. She tried her hardest not to dig her nails into his skin. "I can't stand this," she whimpered. He responded with a firm embrace, arms snaking around her waist and bending to kiss the crown of her head.

"Just a few more minutes. It'll be over in a few more minutes," he whispered near her ear. She shuddered in his arms, and he tightened his hold to keep her still. "Keira, this isn't the end of the world. I know it's hard. This whole thing is… it's hard to get past, I know. But if you are… if _we _are pregnant, it could be a good thing!" She peered up at him quizzically, about to object. He shook his head. "Hear me out. I know you're not ready. Neither am I, but baby, we'll have nine months to figure it out."

This was a weak argument to Keira. She moaned despairingly into his flesh, her body losing its rigidity, and pressed her weight against Jak as she was temporarily unable to hold herself upright. He supported her without protest and tried to fix his verbal blunder.

"I mean, at some point you _do _want kids, right? Ah, damn it…" Keira had begun to cry. Not audibly, but he could feel her tremble against him and her tears were warm on his chest. "Sweetheart, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. Hell." He released her from one arm to touch her cheek." He racked his brain for something funny to say, something to bring a glimmer of a smile back into her eyes. But nothing seemed appropriate, and he didn't want to risk upsetting her any more. So he kept quiet and simply held her for the remainder of the interval, administering comforting touches and kisses every few seconds.

Her silent sobs abated. She tried to peek at the test over her shoulder, but Jak didn't allow her that much movement. She pushed against him firmly, her way of demanding that he let her look. He pretended not to notice.

"Wait. Take a deep breath first, okay? Just breathe for a sec. Take it easy." His arms were iron, stubbornly refusing her freedom. She briefly thought about kneeing him in the crotch to escape, but immediately dismissed it. Even though she was going to implode if she waited another second, she humored him. She inhaled, breathing Jak's scent in. "Okay."

"Okay? Are you ready?"

"Yes. Yes! Please, Jak…"

"Listen. I don't care what the result says. I am with you one hundred per…"

"I know! I know already. Jak, baby, just let me…"

"No, let me finish, Keir," he interrupted resolutely. She quieted. "If it's negative, nothing has to change. And if it's positive, I'll still be here. We'll get through it together." He paused to kiss her lips. "I love you."

Keira couldn't speak for a moment. She was irritated, terrified, confused… and she didn't know how to respond to Jak's affections in the midst of all of it. She didn't understand why he wouldn't just let her look at the stupid test. It could all be over so much faster if he'd just shut up and let her go.

It struck her that he had every reason to be completely freaked out by all this, and yet he wasn't. He was, in fact, trying his damndest to keep _her_ from flying off the deep end.

"I…"

She hesitated. His eyes were locked with hers, calmer than she could have imagined. "You… you really won't leave me, will you? If I… if I _am_, you'll stay with me?" Fear made her words brittle and uncertain.

He cautiously released her from his embrace to take her face in his powerful hands. "That's what I keep trying to tell you, sweetheart. _I will be here no matter what._" He stressed each word equally. "I could never leave you."

She gripped his wrists and closed her eyes, exhaling in relief. That, at least, was a welcome consolation.

His hands fell away from her face and she opened her eyes again, searching his expression one last time before looking at the results that could very well change both their lives. His countenance betrayed no emotion other than the determined, patient love that had radiated from him for the past fifteen minutes. She brought his hands up to her lips and kissed them, reluctant to abandon his touch. To remedy this, she held his hand tight as she turned around and reached for the foreboding stick.

She brought the test with her as she backed up until her hip brushed Jak's. She stopped next to him and stared at the stick, feeling his grip tighten around her own hand as he stole a glance over her shoulder.

A solid blue dash dominated the little box. Negative.

The couple stood unmoving in the bathroom for an uncertain minute. Finally, Jak broke the tension.

"That's a good thing, right?" he asked, hopeful. "This is what we wanted?"

Keira loosened her hold on his hand. "Yeah," she breathed. "This is what we wanted."

*

Now, as she sat on the staircase, she wondered, _Is it really what I want?_

Ever since the thought of pregnancy had entered her mind, she had been against it. She found it an unwelcome idea, one she knew she wasn't ready to handle. There was so much she still wanted to do on her own, without the added responsibility of being a mother. She had shrunk away from the notion of losing sleep over an inconsolable infant, of the expenses it would entail, and especially of having to quit racing to care for the baby. These unsavory thoughts kept her fearful of a positive result on the test. But even though she had gotten the desired negative, she didn't feel any better.

_Am I… disappointed? _She paused to examine her feelings. It seemed possible that, subconsciously, she had already tricked herself into thinking that she was pregnant. If that had happened, perhaps she'd gotten used to the idea? _No freaking way. I would have completely lost it if that thing had been positive. Jak would have had to peel me off of the linoleum and carry me to the sanitarium… _But if it wasn't disappointment, there was only one other option.

_If I'm not pregnant, I don't have a good reason to be acting this crazy. I still don't know what's wrong with me._

She sighed, frustrated with herself, and dropped her head into her hands. Her fingers curled into her hair and dug into her roots, nails biting into her scalp. Physical pain was a great release from dwelling on bad thoughts. She tried to push her eyes into the heels of her palms, but her shiner proved too painful for much pressure and she threw her hands away from herself with a growl of pain.

Keira got to her feet and stumbled down the last few stairs to the living room. She stood next to the sofa and stared around the room in mounting restlessness. There was nothing that needed to be done just now, and therefore nothing to keep her busy. She was on the verge of panic.

Jak had left earlier that morning, three hours ago. She glanced at the wall clock above the empty fireplace and groaned. Time was definitely not on her side today. The pacing began. She roamed the house for ten minutes, wandering mindlessly through each room before returning to her starting place back in the living room. Finally, pissed off at herself and the world for not providing an outlet for her angst, she stormed into her bedroom and found yesterday's jeans among Jak's dirty clothes. She fished in the back pocket for her keys and transferred them to today's pocket. Without stopping to grab anything else, she headed out the door and straddled the zoomer next to the house.

*

Forty minutes later found Keira downtown, on the track that lay adjacent to her garage. She had taken one of the NYFE racers, the one she normally had her drivers use for Classes Three and Two, out of the garage with the intent of taking it around a few laps. She told herself it was necessary to get a feel for the vehicle and discern what needed tweaking before next week. But really, she just wanted to get on the racer and burn some fuel. It was the one thing she could think of that might relieve her tension. It was only too bad that there was no one else on the track to push into a wall on the curve.

She hit the gas harder coming out of the swerve and into the straightaway.

_I'm not pregnant. Nothing has to change. Jak said so himself. We don't have to be weird about this, lots of couples have the same problem…_

She ground her teeth and squinted through her goggles.

_But how many of those people find out they're not pregnant and continue to act this crazy? Shit, what is the matter with me?_

Keira had to brake hard and drift into a turn, her thoughts distracting her from the lay of the track.

_Goddammit, cut it out! I'm here to _forget _this stuff, not let it get me killed. No more thinking. Just feel the racer._

She took her own advice, shutting off all coherent thought processes unless they were to notify her of something that didn't feel quite right in the machinery. After four more rapid, angry laps, Keira was satisfied that she knew exactly what needed to be corrected. She pulled up to the ramp, slowing the NYFE exponentially until she was riding at a crawl out of the track. Appearing at the mouth of the entrance, she slid down out of the saddle and walked the racer back across the lot to her garage.

She stared at the ground and counted the steps she took to keep her mind satisfactorily occupied, so she didn't see Jak crouched next to the secondary NYFE in her garage. Ignorant of his presence, she brought the vehicle up over the transpad matching the counterpart in her workshop. She could have gotten to work right there in the garage, but she wanted to be home, working in her own house where no one would stop by and harass her about the upcoming races. Maybe it would've helped to be pushed around a little in a matter that had nothing to do with mood swings, lovers or pregnancy, but she just wasn't up to talking. To anyone.

Jak stood up from examining the NYFE in the port. The movement registered in Keira's peripheral vision, and she whirled to face him, backing into the vehicle behind her in fright. She gasped, then realized who had startled her. Jak held out his arms, palms up, in a gesture of submission.

"Whoa," he said. "Just me."

She exhaled and put a hand to her forehead, pushing herself away from the racer.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She didn't mean to sound hateful, but unfortunately that's the way her disused voice and general irritability combined.

Jak paused in answering.

"I was done over at Daxter's. You, uh, you weren't home. I thought you might be down here."

Keira didn't look at him. She adjusted the NYFE and turned the power on, the transpad emitting a soft blue glow.

After a moment, Jak prodded the icy silence.

"Keir, what's up babe? You seem… angry." His voice was low, subdued. He didn't like it when his girlfriend was angry. It was too hard to talk to her.

She had picked up a spacer off of a peg on the wall, and now she threw it to the floor in aggravation.

Neither spoke for a time. Tentatively, he tried again.

"Keira, what's wrong?" He made the question more of a statement, one that demanded a response. He hoped she wouldn't throw anything at his head instead.

She let a cry escape her throat, pent up emotion over something she couldn't place winning her over. She slumped against the workbench and held onto the edge with a white-knuckle grip, eyes clenching shut.

Jak picked his way over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She fought the irrational urge to shrug him off.

_Stop it, he's trying to help. He's worried about you, and you're being a bitch. He loves you. Let him help. There is no reason to take this out on him._

In her mind, his touch became less intrusive. She found that she could really use a hug right about now.

"I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. I… I can't figure it out." Her voice trembled a bit.

Jak's heart tore a little. He hated that she was in so much distress and he could do nothing about it. Especially when she was pushing him away. He wanted to touch her, to comfort her, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds in case she really was pissed off at him. But he couldn't just stand there.

"Can I hold you?" he asked timidly.

It frightened her that he had to ask. She knew she was going to lose him if they didn't figure these mood swings out and get over it. Their relationship was regressing, and even though she knew it was her doing, she didn't know how to fix it. She turned around and looked up at him. Her eyes were so sad.

"Please," she breathed.

Only too happy to comply, Jak enveloped her in a determined embrace. Her arms linked behind his back, and she leaned into him. Jak's hands moved up and down her back. He pressed his face into her hair and breathed.

"We'll get past this. I promise." He made his voice firm. He needed her to understand that he wanted to help. He wanted to take this pain away from her, just like she took his pain away. But he didn't know what to do. He could keep her in his arms forever, but that was hardly practical. And it wouldn't really resolve anything. He wanted to growl.

After a while, Keira spoke from inside his warm hug. "What's wrong with me?" she asked, not necessarily of Jak. The question hung in the air for a moment.

"I can't answer that, love. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You're just stressed out. I would be too. You've got a lot on your mind right now, with the race and the baby scare…"

_Baby scare._ The words sent an unpleasant chill up her spine. That was one thing she didn't want to think about. Jak felt her shiver and kissed her on the head.

"Is it the pregnancy thing?" he began. She tensed in his arms. "Keira, everything's okay. We're not pregnant. It was scary, I know. But I also know that we could have handled it. You're stronger than you think you are, honey."

She didn't believe it, but she was grateful that he was being so patient with her.

"I don't want to lose you," she confessed, her voice strained. She was so scared that he was going to get fed up with all this weirdness and just give up on her.

"Keira!" He held her tighter. "Baby, no, sweetheart, you're not going to lose me. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. You know I couldn't." He stroked her hair and tried to choke back the hurt. There was little more that he could do for her, but he _wanted_ to do so much more.

"Jak, I'm so high maintenance anymore. How can you even stand me? _I _can't stand me."

"Okay, enough. Shh. Do you still love me?"

She didn't hesitate. "Yes. I love you so much."

"That's all that matters. You love me, and I love you every bit as much. I've loved you for so long, Keir. I'm not about to throw us away over anything so trivial."

Her hands came to rest on his biceps. "Jesus, Jak. This isn't trivial to me. It's terrifying. I don't know what to do anymore… Half the time I just want to be alone. But when I am alone, when you're not there, I… I want you to be. Does that make any sense to you?" She wanted him to tell her that it did. She wanted him to identify her problem and fix it.

He slowly shook his head.

"I'm sorry, babe. I don't know. I wish I did. I wish I was the one that had to battle this out instead of you. But I will do everything I can to help you. I hate that this scares you. I really do. I'll find a way to make it go away, I promise." He cradled her in his arms. "I promise," he repeated softly.

She wanted to believe him, wanted to let him take the responsibility of mending her broken mind, but she couldn't. It wasn't his problem. And even if he was willing, he wasn't able. He was at more of a loss than Keira was to decipher her scrambled emotions. She was just going to have to get over it on her own. But she wasn't going to punish Jak for trying.

"Thank you, Jak. For… everything." She gave the back of his neck an appreciative squeeze. "But this is something that I'm going to have to beat on my own. All you're going to do is wear yourself out trying to help me." He began to whisper something soothing in her ear, but she didn't let him finish. "Listen to me, please. I just need you to be patient with me. That's all I can ask of you."

Jak pulled back and gave her the once-over. "What's the plan? Are you just going to hope it goes away after a while?"

She thought for a moment. "I think I might… talk to someone. For advice."

Jak appeared confused. "You mean like therapy?" he asked tentatively.

"No," she corrected hesitantly. "I meant like a personal conversation with someone I trust."

Still not following, he raised an eyebrow in askance. "Just not me, huh?"

"Oh God, sweetheart, I didn't mean it like that…" she stuttered apologetically. "I just thought an outside opinion might help me see past what we've already tried. I never meant to…"

"It's okay, I know. I don't want to make trouble where there isn't any." He grinned. "Fresh opinions sound like a good idea. But who do you want to talk to? A doctor?"

Keira looked away, but quickly found his gaze again. This wasn't up for discussion, and she didn't want him to think he had room to sway her decision.

"I'm going to talk to Daddy. I think he might be able to give me some insight."

Jak simply stared at her in amazement for a second. "Your… your father? Keira… I mean, how much are you going to tell him?"

"Everything." She kept her tone even.

"Everything? As in _everything_? The pregnancy test, all of it?" He was struggling to control his voice, to keep the fear out of it.

She nodded. "If he's going to help, he needs to have as much information as I can give him."

He looked paler than before. His arms remained where they were, locked around Keira's waist, but he was in a state of emotional paralysis. Keira knew exactly what he was going through. She didn't particularly love the idea either, but anything was better than doing nothing at all.

Jak found his voice. "Keira, honey, I want you to be able to talk to someone. I want you to get all this off of your chest. But are you sure there isn't anyone else you'd rather get advice from?" He watched her face for signs of caving. "_Please?_"

She touched his face. "Sweetheart, it will be okay. Daddy's not an idiot. You know he knows about us. If he had a problem with it, he would have made a scene by now."

"But he may not know that we…" He stopped the thought, letting it hang in awkward silence in lieu of finishing it.

Keira laughed. She couldn't help it. His face was priceless. "Jak, we're adults! He may not want to think about it, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that we… make love."

Jak shook his head in astonished denial. "Samos cannot know that I am having sex with his daughter. Do you have any idea what that little man will do to me? This is not even remotely funny," he warned. Keira's mirth at his regression into boyhood was beginning to test his nerves. It was embarrassing.

She tried her hardest to hide her smile. "Jak, I'm telling you, this is not news to him. You're safe from any impending wrath, I promise." She closed the deal with a brief kiss. "Even if he didn't know, I'd protect you from him." She whispered this last bit teasingly into his ear. He was not so easily swayed.

"Are you absolutely sure that you want to discuss our relationship in depth with your father? You know he'll tell you I'm doing this to you. His advice will be to leave me and become a celibate Precursor monk."

She laughed again, but her voice was full of sympathy. "Baby, he won't. He wants me to be happy, and you make me happy. You just have to trust me."

Jak groaned. His grip on her waist slackened, and she pressed a kiss into the curve of his neck in compensation.

"Jak…" She wasn't expecting him to be so opposed to the idea. There were complications that she'd known would come up, but ultimately, she'd thought Jak would want her to do what she needed to. She was in no mood to deal with his insecurities on top of her own.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let's go see your dad." His voice was that of someone resigned to certain doom.

Surprised, Keira looked up at him. "Both of us?"

"Well, I'm damn sure not going to let you go by yourself. If he feels the need to tear into anyone, it's not going to be you. You've got enough on your mind as it is."

Touched, Keira gave him a genuine smile. "I know you're retired from saving all of civilization, but you're still my hero," she offered. "I don't want you to think you always have to protect me, though." This wasn't entirely true. She loved it when Jak shielded her from unpleasantness. It wasn't that she was afraid of the experience; it was just the chivalry behind his motivations. It made her feel loved and irreplaceable. It was a guilty feeling, accepting his protection so readily when she wished nothing less for him. But she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

He gave her a tired smile. "You know I would, even if you begged me not to."

*

Samos never took his bespectacled eyes off of Jak.

Keira had finished her hesitant recount of the past few days, placing emphasis on her own mood swings and sudden changes in thought patterns. True to his word, Jak had stayed by her side through the whole thing, his hand resting bravely on hers. When Keira skimmed over the pregnancy test, Samos' eyes had shot to Jak's face. And there they stayed until his daughter had stopped talking.

Jak's hand twitched over Keira's. She gave him a sideways glance and noticed that his impassive expression was beginning to crack. Color was creeping up his neck, and his back was unusually rigid in the padded easy chair. She knew that he was in an uncomfortable position to start with… They had arrived at the sage's hut in the old district forty minutes earlier. Greetings were exchanged in the usual sense; Keira had received a hug and an offer of honeyed tea while Jak was extended a grunt of acknowledgment. Samos asked about Keira's black eye. She gave her father the abridged version of the accident and tried to ignore the dirty look he threw her lover. The crocadog had barked furiously until Keira had given him his due attention. Then the discussion had begun. The three brought their tea into the den, where the furnace thrummed despite the mild weather. Samos had taken the sofa, and Jak had parked himself in the overstuffed recliner across the room. Keira knew Jak had chosen the chair to discourage her from sitting close to him, in appeasement to her father.

Defiantly, she had deigned to sit in his lap. He had given her a discreetly horrified look, but she had squeezed his hand and whispered "Man up," into his ear. Taking the hint, Jak had become resolute and expressionless. Until Samos had pinned him with those beady little eyes…

No one said anything for a time. Finally, Jak cleared his throat. He shifted beneath his girlfriend and tried to catch her eye. He needed to get out of there.

"I think Dawg needs to go out. I'll take him," he said in a low voice. Keira shot him a knowing grin, but shifted to let him escape. Legs free, he gave her a grateful look and ducked forward to kiss her quickly before making as dignified an exit as he could.

Samos was more willing to talk in Jak's absence.

"You let that… _boy…_"

"Daddy…" Keira warned. "He's not a _boy_. And don't act like you didn't know. We're all adults here, try to be nice."

Samos furrowed his already agitated brow. "How would I know? I hardly see you anymore, and you suddenly turn up to tell me that you're pregnant with…"

"If you'd been listening to me instead of trying to kill Jak with your mind," she interrupted. "Then you'd know that I said I _wasn't _pregnant. I'm not."

"… And you've given yourself to _Jak _of all eligible men…" he continued infuriatingly.

"I love him, Dad. Get over it."

Samos glared at his daughter, furious, but unable to reply. He rebounded quickly. "Don't take that tone with me, girl. You're not too old for a spanking."

Keira grinned.

"You've never spanked me in your life," she countered, calling his bluff.

"I have half a mind to start," he mumbled, resigned. Keira blushed a little, suddenly glad that Jak wasn't around to get any ideas. She shook her head to clear her mind.

"Can you help me with this or not?" she asked wearily. Nothing was going to get resolved if all he wanted to do was rag on Jak.

The sage sighed heavily and put his feet up on the ottoman. "I know you're not going to leave him. I don't think he's good for you, but you'd hardly take my advice… Incidentally, I've been wondering about your eye…"

Keira bristled. "I told you how that happened. Don't you _dare _say what you were about to say."

Samos did not pursue the matter. The look in Keira's eye was almost dangerous.

Instead, he continued the discussion. "You're too dependent on him. You throw a fit every time someone makes a jab or suggests that you break it off with him. You've ceased to be a singular personality anymore, Keira."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she rebuked, hurt. "I am not too…"

"Do you want my advice or not?" he scolded. "Can you even hear yourself? Everything you've just told me has been about the both of you. Even when you should be more concerned with yourself, you're worried about what _he's _going to think. How _he's _going to react. You need to put yourself first, dear."

Keira was stunned. She didn't know if her father was right, but it was definitely a different view. "But… didn't you love Mom more than yourself? Wouldn't you have given your life to make sure she was safe?"

Samos paused, and pain flashed behind his eyes. Keira looked away.

"Of course I would have, dear. I loved your mother more than anything in the world. But I don't think she would have wanted me to make myself miserable over her every whim. Do you?"

"I…" She hesitated. In her mother's shoes, no, she wouldn't. And she wouldn't want Jak to, either. She wanted him to love her, not worship her.

Samos nodded in the silence.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Try to go more than one day without him. See how that works out. If you think you can handle it…"

"Of course I can."

"But can you do it without worrying yourself sick over him?"

She gave him a level look. "Yes."

Her father grunted. "We'll see, won't we?"

*

Jak returned just as Keira opened the back door to let herself out. He had one arm behind his back, the other tethered to Dawg's leash. She looked at him quizzically as he bent to unclip the crocadog and let him back inside. He smiled up at her and straightened, bringing his previously hidden arm back into view. In his hand was a small bouquet of wild roses. He held the flowers out to her.

"Oh," she breathed, eyes flicking from the roses to his face. "Jak, where…?"

He nodded toward the dog that was disappearing through the still open door. "We found them on the way back. I didn't steal them from anyone's garden, I promise."

She took the flowers and glanced at him again. He was wearing an easy, lopsided grin that she absolutely loved. "They're beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart…"

Jak kissed her lips, breaking into her show of gratitude. He pulled away and left her momentarily breathless. "_You're_ beautiful," he amended. He took her free hand in his. She wanted to melt. "Are you ready to go home?" he asked softly. Unable to answer, she simply nodded. He led her to the a-grav parked on the side of the house. In the shadow of the hut, Jak helped her into the vehicle's seat and climbed on behind her. His hands found her waist, but slid up her body to rest just centimeters away from her breasts.

She shivered from his touch. His sweet, hot breath beat evenly on the back of her neck as she turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from her father's hut. The flowers were clutched to her chest and the only sensation she was aware of was Jak's overwhelming presence, both physically and in her mind.

_Oh God, _she moaned internally. _This is going to be so much harder than I thought._

A/N: Aren't you glad she's not pregnant? I am! So, I wrote the flower thing tonight while I was talking to one of my friends and I told her it would be really nice to get flowers from someone right about now, and we had a little 'aww' moment. And I decided to stick it in the fic. Oh, also, I tried reading through all three chapters consecutively, and let me just advise you against doing that. There is just too much fluff in this story to read all at one sitting. Seriously, you'll make yourself sick trying. You will go into a sugar-induced coma. So don't do that, cuz I need you guys to review! One more to go, folks!

Please review, homeskillet.

AlternativeDelirium out.

* * *


	4. Part 4

A/N: Alright, alright. I didn't mean to make you wait so long for the next bit, my apologies. I've been buried in college life and trying to keep my social life from flat-lining. But I do appreciate all the panicky reviews, lol. Didn't know I was so loved! But no worries, friends, this isn't the end either. There's a final chapter on the way, you'll just have to give me a break on the updating. Again. I know, I'm an awful person. But some things have got to get bumped to the back burner for a while so I don't fail my classes.

In other news, I am finally in love again. _Finally._ Not that you particularly care, but I am trés excité. Il est mignion et parfait, and I've really got to stop speaking Franglish. But I'm really happy right now. Okay, you know the way I portray Jak? Seth is my Jak, except _better_. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel like he's going to be the guy I spend the rest of my life with. He's so good to me. God, I love him. Anyway, that's my life. Oh, there are references to ATS in this chapter. Not enough that you'll be confused if you haven't read it, but thought I'd give you the heads up. Otherwise, this fic is for CopyCat87, an artist over on DeviantArt. She gave me the inspiration to write this through a piece dubbed Grease Monkeys. So here's to you, CC87! Hope this is as enjoyable for everyone to read as it is to write. Thanks guys!

* * *

Keira reached for the switch on the floor lamp, softly illuminating the living room. The day had gone from clear to overcast in the last few hours, and the sun was getting low. Jak entered the house behind her and deposited the keys on the coffee table.

"So what did your dad say?" he asked, genuinely curious. He watched as she turned to face him, rubbed the back of her neck to stall for time, her gaze falling to the floor…

"Ah, shit, he told you to get rid of me, didn't he? I hate to say I told you so, Keir…"

She walked past him to the kitchen door. "He's just upset about the pregnancy thing. I think I got his hopes up. Secretly, he really wants grandkids." She couldn't look at him; she was a terrible liar and she knew it.

"Keira." Jak's tone was flat, tired. He followed her into the kitchen. She went to the fridge and took out a bottle of water, removing the cap and taking a sip. Jak waited patiently, but she still didn't respond. "Keira," he repeated, softer.

She put the bottle on the table, defeated. "Well I'm not going to _listen _to him," she reasoned. "And he knows that. I don't understand why he acts like this around you. It never used to be this way."

Jak was silent. Keira met his eyes. He looked worried, hands deep in his pockets. She wanted to go to him, but she remembered her promise to her father. She needed to start distancing herself. _Just for a little while,_ she reassured internally.

Jak spoke timidly. "I think it's the eco."

Keira was confused. She moved away from the table and caught his eyes in hers. "Eco? What eco?"

Jak pushed himself from the door frame and took a step closer. "Ever since we got here, Samos has been careful around me. Don't get me wrong, he's always been grouchy toward me. But that was just because I was after you." He offered her a sly grin. She felt herself redden a bit, and she laughed, surprised that he would admit to this so casually. His expression sobered. "But things changed. After the Baron sent his goons after me, I went through two years of…" he trailed off momentarily, and Keira's face fell. Again, she felt the compulsion to hold him. She let herself close the gap between them and put a hand on his shoulder. He took the hand and squeezed it. "The point is, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And I'm different because of it. You've seen it, Keir. You tell me that isn't scary."

"It… it's not. Not really… You control yourself very well…" she fought her conflicting thoughts.

"Yeah, but I can be terrifying. I scared the hell out of you the first time you saw me like that," he continued.

"Jak, no, honey, I…" she struggled with her own words. It _had_ scared the hell out of her. She remembered watching him stumble out of that cave after taking on the power-crazed Bane. He was so pale, his eyes had been just as dark as they were Thursday night when they had made love. But his nails had been _inches _longer than normal, and black, like claws. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she remembered horns, too. _Horns._ Like a demon. God, she had almost run away screaming.

Jak ended her stuttering objection.

"You were so brave, Keira, but you were scared. It's okay. That's the expected reaction." He grinned down at her guilty expression. "And I can't say I blame Samos for keeping his distance. Up until recently, the… changes… have been pretty unpredictable. I never would have moved in with you if I thought I was a danger to you, babe, but…"

Keira took his face in her hands before she could stop herself. "Don't. Just stop," she warned. He shut his mouth, but the look in his eye said he wasn't done. "You would _never _hurt me. Even if you changed, right here and now, there would be no reason for me to be afraid. I know you." She paused, and the irresistible urge to kiss him won her over. _Ah, screw it. I'll start distancing myself tomorrow._ "I love you," she finished, touching her lips to his.

Jak did not protest. He kissed her softly, his hands coming to rest on her hips. He pulled back.

"But that's why your dad acts the way he does. He's trying to protect you. Just in case. I can't fault him; the last thing I want is something to happen to you. I know, I know," he interrupted, cutting off her renewed objections. "You're right. You _are_ safe with me. As long as I can help it. But all Samos sees is the danger I represent. And when he sees you with me… I'm sure it doesn't paint a very reassuring picture."

Keira didn't try to hide the defeat in her expression. "I wish…" she began wistfully. She had been about to say she wished her father wasn't so narrow-minded, but halfway through, the thought changed track. "I wish you'd gotten away. From the Baron's guards," she clarified, dispelling the confusion in Jak's eyes. "I wish you'd have run, or fought them off or…"

Jak shook his head. "Me too. But there was nowhere to go. And there would have been no point trying to beat them down; I was outnumbered, and they had guns. But still. Me too."

Keira's hands moved down his arms to his biceps. She looked at his chest while she spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… It wasn't your fault. I know if you could have, you would've gotten away. And you would have found me and Daddy so much sooner… It would have solved so many problems. Daddy wouldn't be this callous towards you, and you wouldn't have such horrible nightmares." Her grip on his arms tightened in sympathy.

"_And_ I wouldn't have been able to save the city from Praxis. Or Kor. Or Bane." Jak raised an eyebrow at her to illustrate his point.

_To hell with the city, _she scoffed inwardly. "I'd rather Haven be a smoldering crater than have to watch you scream in your sleep and listen to Daddy belittle you every time I talk to him." She pressed a kiss to his throat. "It breaks my heart," she whispered.

Jak didn't know what to say. His throat constricted and his arms found their way around Keira's shoulders of their own volition, crushing her to him in something akin to grief. If she was willing to trade the entire city for his happiness and well-being, she really must love him.

"If things hadn't happened the way they did, there's no guarantee we'd be where we are now. And I wouldn't have it any other way, beautiful."

Keira tensed in his arms. "Dammit," she swore to herself, frustrated. Why couldn't she just have a normal life, with an approving father and straightforward feelings? Lately it had been one little drama after another. It was wearing her down, and she found herself in Jak's embrace more often than not for comfort. Maybe her father was right; maybe she needed to learn how to take care of _herself _for a change.

_Starting tomorrow. _

She debated telling Jak exactly what her father had prescribed. It would be the simplest way to make this work. She was sure, if she stressed the 'temporary' part, he would be more willing to help her. Well, maybe not willing, but he'd certainly understand. He may even suggest that he move back into Daxter's for a few days.

She cringed away from the thought of being without Jak for more than a day. Although she knew she was only feeding her apparent addiction, she clung to him tighter. If this was her last night with her lover for a while, she was going to get her fix.

Jak breathed into her hair for a moment in silence. Then he sighed exaggeratedly. "Okay, enough of this doom and gloom. The night's not over yet… let's do something to lighten the atmosphere, huh?" Without warning, he reached behind her and bent at the knees. Before she knew what he was doing, he had swept her into his arms. She gave a short cry of surprise and grasped desperately for his neck to keep her balance. He turned around, Keira carried threshold-style as effortlessly as if he were holding a child. He walked them out of the kitchen and paused next to the sofa in the den.

Keira laughed, pleased. "What's gotten into you?" she asked, her tone considerably lighter.

Jak shrugged, and she felt the motion. "Just trying to convince you to stick around," he grinned teasingly. Keira's delighted expression dimmed at this remark. He couldn't possibly suspect what she had in mind…?

Her eyes searched his. They betrayed nothing. And then he smiled, and the insecurity passed.

He held her directly over the sofa and let her drop the foot and a half to the cushions below. She yelped and bounced once after hitting the furniture, then peered up at him curiously through her misplaced hair.

He knelt before the couch and rested his arms on the cushion in front of him. "What do you want to do?" he asked energetically.

"I…I don't know…" she stammered. Her mind was still on her impending vacation from Jak.

He reached out and brushed the hair out of her face gently as she propped herself up on her elbows. "You wanna… go out?" he prompted. "We could bar hop. Hit a club? See a movie?" His fingers lightly touched her face while they combed through her hair.

She grinned at his persistence. "Jak…"

"Come on," he pouted. "Let's do _something_." His eyes brightened. "I'll take you dancing…" he bribed, almost singsong.

Keira laughed again, letting her head fall backward on the end of her neck like a ragdoll. She sobered as best she could and gave him a level look. "Stop being that guy," she smiled.

Jak looked bewildered. "What guy?"

Keira pushed herself into a sitting position. "The perfect guy. The one who's not supposed to exist." She leaned in close and kissed the tip of his nose. "Keep it up and you'll tear a hole in the space/time continuum."

"So… is that a 'no' to dancing?" he asked hesitantly.

_Jesus, stop being so damn adorable._

"We could just hang out here…" she suggested hopefully. Jak gave her a disappointed, bored look. "We could order take out and… watch TV?" She grimaced at his unchanging expression. "Or we could go out," she caved, sighing and slumping back against the sofa.

Jak levered himself up and sat next to her on the couch. "We don't have to," he amended, his voice less playful. "We'll do whatever you want to do, babe."

She shifted and let her head fall onto his shoulder. "Can we go down to the docks and stargaze later? When it gets dark enough?" she posed optimistically. She wanted to do something simple and romantic, something she could use to tide her over while she was missing him. He rested his head against hers.

"That sounds like a plan," he agreed, wrapping his arm about her shoulders. She instinctively snuggled in closer to him. "Maybe the sky will clear up before then."

She had forgotten about the cloud cover.

"If it doesn't, _then_ you can take me dancing," she joked, closing her eyes.

Jak laughed and kissed her forehead. She exhaled, content for the moment. Everything in this second, in the immediate future consisting of at least the next few hours, was completely fine. She didn't have to worry about complications until the next morning. At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

Neither broke the silence for a few comfortable minutes. Then Jak shifted to look down at her peaceful face, and she made a small, sleepy noise at his movement.

"Hey, are you tired? Don't fall asleep on me, girl."

"I'm not asleep," she breathed, defensive in a drowsy sort of way. She grinned at her own absurdity.

"You sound like you're about to crash, Keir. It's only eight." He gently shook her shoulder until she opened her eyes halfway.

"I won't. I'm just comfy." She paused, thinking up a legitimate excuse to remain as she was. "You're my favorite pillow." She hoped that sounded cuter to him than it did to her.

If it did, he chose to ignore it.

"Well, _I'm _going to go see a movie." He moved to imply that he was getting up, and Keira groaned in protest. "Are you coming with me? I'm thinking something scary."

"What if I say no?" she asked, stretching her arms over her head.

"Then I will be very disappointed. But I'm still going."

Keira watched him for a moment to gauge whether or not he was serious. He stood before her, his face a mask of patience. She exhaled exaggeratedly and made to stand up.

"Fine. Let's go," she grinned, giving him the win.

Jak's body visibly lost some of its rigidity. "Good. Because I wasn't really going to go without you."

Keira growled at him in mock-irritation. "You big liar," she accused, standing and pushing at his chest as if she were disgusted with him. He caught her wrist and pulled her back to him just as she was pushing him away. He spun her around by the arm so that her back was to him and wrapped his free arm about her waist. She didn't struggle. His head ducked down so that his lips hovered, infuriatingly warm and teasing, next to her ear.

"I don't lie," he whispered, playful. His hot breath and the frustrating proximity of his perfect mouth were driving her crazy so fast… She could feel every contour of his muscles on her back, pressed as she was against him. She let her head loll back to rest against his shoulder, neck stretched out in the agony of anticipation. "I just bend the truth a little to get what I want." Finally, he touched those lips to her flesh, just beneath her ear. But they only just brushed her neck before pulling away. Jak let his arm fall from around her to relinquish his hold and took a half-step back.

She wasn't about to let him get away with that. Defiantly, she spun around to face him, her eyes hard with a touch of lust. She grabbed at his shirt and pulled him back to her, pressing her own lips into the curve of his throat. The kiss begged retaliation. "Don't do that to me," she admonished softly, dangerously.

Jak fought an amused smile away. "What did I do?" His hands found her wrists where they clutched at the fabric of his shirt. A glimmer of mischief passed his face. "This?" He breathed close to her ear once more, close enough to make her shiver, but not enough to touch her skin. She made a tiny, feminine sound and fought not to writhe.

"Don't," she breathed urgently, pathetically. Her heart was galloping in her chest. Any other night but tonight, she would be begging him to keep it up, to smother her in every physical attention known to man. But she was terrified that she wouldn't be able to do what she had to do if he buried her in attention. She just hated it when he teased her with the promise of something intimate and then didn't fulfill it.

"So I shouldn't do this either, huh?" His hands abandoned her wrists in favor of her slender waist, fingers finding the centimeter of bare skin between her top and her jeans. His rough fingertips sent another chill through her, and she made to stop him. Before she could take his wandering hands in hers, they dove beneath the cotton of her shirt and began to travel up the sides of her body.

She inhaled sharply at his audacity, part of her loving the attention. She fought herself to deny him. It was difficult, oh, so difficult… but she knew she should. His palms were colder than her bare flesh, which partly accounted for the way she trembled.

"Your hands…" she gasped. "They're so cold." She was merely using anything she could to bring him to heel.

Immediately self-conscious, Jak removed his hands from her abdomen. He gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. Here." He rubbed his hands together to warm them with friction. Then he touched the sides of her face with the backs of his now warm fingers. "Better?"

She quickly trapped his hands in hers and brought them away from her face. "Much," she sighed in relief. She was determined to keep her promise to her father, if only to prove him wrong. But she knew that Jak was _very _capable of breaking her resolve if he tried hard enough. The biggest problem she faced tonight was keeping him from being too irresistible.

Jak was watching her curiously. Keira changed the subject to avoid the impending inquisition.

"I'm going to get ready. Give me five minutes?" She squeezed his hands. He returned the gesture and nodded. Her uncertain grin brightened, and she reached up to kiss his cheek. She released his hands and made for the bedroom to retrieve some money. "We should definitely stop and get some candy," she called over her shoulder. Snacks for the movie, sure, but the comfort food would certainly help later on.

"Good call," she heard him agree.

Keira dug through the purse she never used to find her pocketbook. There were a few movies she had wanted to see, and she debated which one she would rather watch. She knew she would have to talk Jak out of whatever gruesome slasher he had in mind, but she was confident she could persuade him. She would just have to be careful how _persuasive _she got…

*

At eleven, Keira sat alone with Jak on the edge of a dock that thrust into the port. The stars were just visible, and every so often a tendril of cloud would obscure the clear patch of deep navy, and the pinpoints of brilliance would dull. Keira didn't mind. It could have been pouring rain and she would have been content to sit here in this comfortable silence with the man she had given her heart to.

They had arrived at the theatre too late to catch the scary movie Jak wanted to see. But he proved too belligerent to coerce into seeing the romantic comedy that Keira had picked out. They had finally compromised, settling on a horror film that neither one knew anything about. She wasn't thrilled about it, as she was a bit of a jumper. She figured that was the reason Jak had originally suggested a scary movie… It annoyed her a tiny bit, but she was willing to suck it up this once.

And she _had_ jumped. Four times. And screamed, once. She hated herself for it, but it had been one of those cheap productions that relied on the element of surprise for the thrills. Jak, on the other hand, had eaten it up. Every time something shot out of the darkness on the screen, Keira had instinctively flinched toward him or grabbed frantically for his hand. And the one time she had been frightened enough to scream, she had clutched at his chest and refused to watch the next five minutes. Each time, Jak laughed at her good-naturedly and pulled her close with the arm he kept round her shoulders.

Now they sat on the dock together, waiting for the sky to clear up again. They sat apart, arms behind themselves for balance. Keira's left hand rested over Jak's right.

"It really wasn't _that _bad," Jak said, his tone that of a man who knows his argument is futile.

"It was awful. And you know it." Keira shoved him with her shoulder playfully.

He smiled roguishly at her. "I liked it."

She rolled her eyes. "Jak, there was so much gore… and it didn't end right! They both died!"

"Yeah, okay, the movie sucked. But _you_ were really cute, jumping and freaking out every couple of minutes…"

She grinned, embarrassed. "Sorry about that. You should know better than to take me to a horror film."

"Just because you're scared of your own shadow…"

She looked up at him sharply. "I am not!"

Jak made a growling sound and feinted toward her unexpectedly. Keira cringed away from him and tried to bite off the startled cry that escaped her throat. Jak chuckled at her reaction, pleased that he had proven his point. Irked, Keira punched him in the arm a little harder than usual.

"That's not fair!" she protested angrily. "Jak…"

"Okay, okay," he laughed, pretending to sound remorseful. "I'm a jerk. I'm sorry, babe, it was just too perfect…"

"You're such a child sometimes," she complained, moving away from him a few inches.

"Keira…" he smiled. She ignored him. "Oh, come on. Don't be like that, sweetheart. I was kidding! You're brave when it counts. That's what matters." His voice still hadn't lost that lighthearted levity, which made Keira think that he wasn't taking her seriously.

"That was a cheap shot," she retorted, glaring at him.

"Keir… I'm sorry, I… where are you going? Hey, come back here…" She had moved even further from him, almost at the very edge of the dock. She wasn't really angry, but she was a little hurt. She heard him crawl up behind her. "I didn't mean it, love. I was just having some fun," he apologized. "Forgive me?"

His breath on her neck made her smile in spite of herself. She was starting to get tired of that dirty trick…

"No," she replied, mock-cold. She didn't turn around for fear of him seeing the grin tugging at her expression.

Jak paused. He could hear the smile in her voice, but he wasn't sure how to go about getting around this one. It was a game, he knew that much. He just needed to figure out the rules. An idea struck him, and he almost dismissed it. It was just wasn't him. But maybe that little element was key in shocking her out of this mood. He decided to go for it.

"Well," he sighed, forcing his voice into a heavy-hearted tone. He levered himself up and dusted the back of his jeans off. Keira turned her head to look at him curiously. "I guess, if you don't want me around right now, I should just get out of your hair." He paused to make sure she was watching, then turned and began to walk back down the dock.

Keira was stunned. This was definitely not the way Jak usually handled her belligerence. She remained where she was, craning her neck to watch him saunter away. "Jak?" she called. He didn't answer or stop. "Jak, where do you think you're going?" This time he slowed down enough to glance over his shoulder.

"I'll walk back to the bar and have Daxter take me back to his place tonight. You take the zoomer, baby. I'll see you later."

Keira had no idea what to do. Jak was leaving, and she wasn't sure when she was going to see him again. Something told her that he was only playing, but she wasn't willing to risk that he wasn't. And out of the two of them, she was the least prideful. She really didn't want to end the night like this, game or no.

Coming to a snap decision, Keira frantically stumbled to her feet. Jak was now at the other end of the dock, and he didn't slow his pace as he crossed onto the street and turned left. She was going to feel like a fool if she ran to catch up with him, but she didn't see any other option. Dignity was pushed aside for the moment.

She sprinted down the remainder of the dock and caught him a few yards down the road. He must have heard her coming, because he finally slowed down. But he waited for Keira to take his hand from behind before he stopped to look at her.

She didn't know what to say to him, but her mouth opened to speak anyway. When nothing came out, she just gave him a hurt expression and hoped that it conveyed her thoughts.

Jak smiled. "I knew you'd forgive me," he taunted, his voice warm.

Keira stared at him for a second, unsure of whether to laugh or punch him in the throat. Finally, she offered him a tired smile and shook her head in weary submission. She discovered that she felt abandoned, and that was a scary feeling. What was worse was that she felt like a hypocrite. If watching Jak walk away from her like that had almost brought her to tears, how hard was it going to be to do the same to him?

_Stop it, it's only temporary. Twenty-four hours, and then I can tell Daddy to suck it._

Still, the backs of her eyes stung. She didn't want Jak to see, so she slipped in close to him and hid her face in his shirt. It was embarrassing, like she was a child that had been terrified by a prank and was trying to hide her tears from the rest of her friends. Jak was a little too intuitive to be fooled by that maneuver, however.

He didn't push her away so he could see her fighting tears. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and swayed a little with her. He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry baby, that was mean. Never again, okay? I shouldn't mess with your head like that. I don't know what I was thinking."

Here she was, back in those arms. She knew it was something she had been trying to avoid, but every time she was wrapped up in him her whole mind echoed a single word: _safe_. It felt so very right, her body pressed to his, his arms locked around her possessively, her hands begging for sanctuary in the folds of his shirt. Protected, needed, loved. Isn't that what every woman wants to feel?

Keira swallowed the previous hurt and felt secure enough to look up at him again. She tried to meet his blue eyes, but his forehead rested on her shoulder, and his eyes remained closed. She had never seen him hold her from a third-person point of view before, and the sight tugged at her heart. He really did love her. She had known that, of course, but seeing the visual proof gave her a reason to hate herself more than usual. How could she turn him away from her, even for a second?

Jak pulled back an inch. He met her eyes, and his warm grin faltered.

"Oh, don't be sad, Keira. I'm so sorry baby, I never meant to scare you…"

Keira shook her head furiously to rid herself of the melancholy expression.

"No, I'm fine. Really," she added when Jak eyed her dubiously. She kissed his cheek softly. "It's okay." They stood immobile and silent for another moment. "Are you ready to go home?" she finally asked in an attempt to return the atmosphere to something closer to normal.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll drive though," he replied, his hand sliding into her back pocket to steal her keys. She didn't protest.

They released one another to walk back the way they had come. Jak took her hand in his. Her fingers squeezed his for reassurance. They reached the vehicle, and Jak mounted it before helping Keira on behind him. Balance wasn't the only reason her arms clung tightly to his waist.

*

They arrived home a little after midnight. Jak held the door for Keira, and she stepped inside, stifling a yawn. She _couldn't_ be tired yet. She didn't want the night to end so early.

She was still debating how this separation thing was going to go down. The more she thought about it, the sillier it became. Why was she even doing this again? Oh, that's right, because of a petty bet with her father. But she was so happy with Jak, so secure and warm and safe… It was a stupid idea. No, she wasn't going to go through with it. Nope. No way. What had she been thinking?

_But what am I going to do if that feeling keeps coming back? _She glanced at Jak over her shoulder as he threw himself lazily onto the sofa to remove his shoes. Her heart tightened in her chest in love mixed with anxiety. The feeling was going to come back, of that she was sure. And though she wasn't in agreement with the reasons her father had presented her, she couldn't rule them out entirely. There were too many conspicuous connections.

It had to be done. She needed to let Jak in on her theory and try to make this as painless as possible for both of them.

But first, coffee.

She found herself stalling in the kitchen. She opened cabinets, aimlessly searching for the filters that she knew were on the top of the refrigerator. Jak entered the kitchen and watched her in silence for a moment. Keira was unaware of his presence until she turned around to check the table and caught him staring at her in confusion.

"What are you doing?" he asked wearily.

"Coffee?" she offered weakly, holding out the ceramic mug she had fished out of a cabinet. "I just felt like a cup of…"

"Baby, it's late."

"I know, but I just…"

"Okay." He approached her and took her face in his hands. He kissed her lips and met her eyes. "You make your coffee. I'm going to be in bed. See you there."

Jak turned and trudged sleepily out of the room. Keira watched him leave in suppressed despair, useless arms dangling at her sides. She leaned back against the counter, deflated. She felt beaten by the situation, forced into a corner. She lifted her hand to run her fingers through her hair in exasperation before she realized that she still clung to the coffee mug. Angrily, she slammed the mug down into the sink and stood up, revitalized with frustration. This was going to get resolved, _now._

She stalked out of the kitchen after Jak, barely pausing to hit the lights. She entered her bedroom just in time to see Jak shucking his jeans.

She held her tongue until he had stopped hopping around for balance on one leg. Now pleasantly nude but for a pair of green-plaid boxers, he turned to catch her staring. He grinned and stretched languorously, yawning before addressing her.

"What about your coffee?" he yawned.

"Jak, we need to talk," she cut him off. She had to fight flinching from her own words. Desperation made her… well, desperate.

Jak's expression sobered. "Sure baby. What's wrong?" He took a few tentative steps toward her, but she remained, rigidly, where she stood.

He stopped, and his face tore at her heart. Taking pity on his utter confusion, she attempted to make the conversation easier by masking it with normal activity. She entered the room more fully and turned off the overhead light, leaving the bedside table lamp to illuminate the room. A glance at Jak told her that he was unsure of his nakedness in the given circumstance. She sighed and eased his insecurity by stripping her own shirt.

"I need to tell you what my father said," she began, sitting on the end of her bed to take off her own pants.

Bemused, Jak sat down next to her and gave her his full attention. "You told me. In a roundabout way."

"Not all of it," she sighed, hating that they were even having this conversation. She finished undressing and looked him in the eye. The fact that he wasn't appreciating her curves showed her just how concerned he was.

She took his hand in hers. His eyes were agonizing to meet… she came to the immediate decision to get to the point as quickly as possible.

"Daddy thinks that I should learn to take care of myself. He thinks maybe that's why I can't shake this weird mood."

Jak gave her a blank look. "You _do _take care of yourself. You've got your own place, a steady job…"

She shook her head. "He means emotionally. Since I've had you around, I'm never alone. And I want to keep it that way," she added hastily, watching Jak's mouth become a frown. "I love that I always have you there. I've missed it these past few years…" Her voice trailed off for a moment while she took stock of what she was saying. "So much." Jak cleared his throat and she looked back up at him, startled out of her reverie.

"Keira, what are you getting at? You're father doesn't want me around you. I get it. But I thought you said you weren't going to listen to him." His voice wasn't quite a pout, but it had the same effect on Keira. Suddenly she wanted to go back three minutes in time and decide not to have this conversation. Her hand clenched in his, an attempt to comfort both parties. But Jak did not respond in kind. Keira's heart fluttered in panic.

"Jak, I don't want to leave you…"

"But you are." It wasn't a question.

She could have gone into cardiac arrest the way her heart continued to seize up.

"No. I will never leave you. I don't even want to do this, but I think if I don't…"

"And what is 'this,' Keir?" Jak interrupted. He didn't sound angry, but he didn't sound curious either. His tone was flat. Maybe he was afraid to inflect any emotion in case it would aggravate the situation. Or, maybe he was just tired of the whole thing and wanted to get it over with as painlessly as possible.

Keira wanted to scream in frustration. She wanted to hold Jak and know that he'd crush her in his embrace. She wanted to say a magic word and make it go away, the mood and all. But she knew that it wasn't going to end the way she wanted.

_Just jump in. Do it and be done. He already suspects the worst._

"Jak I… I just need a day to think." She paused to watch his reaction. The color began to drain from his face, but he made a stoic attempt to remain unmoved.

"Alone," she added. Jak nodded once to acknowledge that he knew what she meant.

The silence that pervaded the room was anything but comfortable. Jak finally eased the tension by standing and moving to the other side of the bed. Keira watched him pick up his clothes from the floor.

"Sweetheart," she begged, her voice constricted. "You… you don't have to leave tonight…"

"But I do have to leave. So does it really matter if I do it now or tomorrow?" Now there was a hint of bitterness in the rhetorical question. Tears that she wasn't aware she had cried left sticky trails on her face. She wiped them away in annoyance.

Jak pulled on his jeans and turned to look at his distraught lover. She was no longer watching him. Her eyes were on the floor at her feet, her hands were clutching handfuls of the comforter at her sides. He wanted to be angry at her. But looking at her like that, sitting on the edge of her bed, completely torn and crying silently… he couldn't. He wanted to comfort her.

"Keira."

She flinched, but her gaze stayed on the carpet.

Jak's heart lurched. He tried again, even softer. "Keir, baby, look at me?"

She met his eyes, and there was a flicker of hope in the way she turned to him. He went to her and held her face in his hands.

"I know what you're going through is confusing. Actually, I'm not going to pretend to know what it's like." Keira closed her eyes and let her cheek press into his warm palm for comfort. "And I know that this is probably for the best. I wish I didn't have to leave you, but you seem to have already made up your mind and I'm not going to get in your way." Her eyes came open and she gave him a frightened look.

"Jak, please, you have to understand, I don't want…"

"Shh, I do understand. I'm not angry. At you or Samos. It's only one day. I think we'll be okay, don't you?" Keira exhaled in defeat, and one last tear slipped from her eye. Jak bent to kiss it away. "I know I'm going to miss you like crazy, but this is nothing, babe. I didn't mean to be a jackass earlier. Can you forgive me?"

Immediately, Keira placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

"Is that a 'yes?'" he smiled, pulling back to meet her green eyes.

She couldn't laugh, but she offered him a tiny, sad smile.

"I'll be at Daxter's. I don't want to bother you, but if you need anything, you can find me there. Okay?"

She nodded reluctantly.

"Okay." He kissed her again and stood. Keira held onto his hand possessively as he tried to pull away, so he knelt back down. "Keira, honey, I'm just going to be at Daxter's for one day. If I thought this was going to be a long separation, you better believe that I would fight like hell to stay. I love you, baby girl. And I don't want to lose you. Which is why we better get this figured out now, instead of letting you get more and more frustrated. I'll see you Monday, love."

She still didn't want to let go of him. But he gently pried her fingers from his wrist and walked to the closet to grab a change of clothes.

One phrase played through her head over and over, begging to be said aloud: _Baby, don't go._

She watched him select a fresh shirt and pair of jeans. She couldn't just watch him leave, she needed to do something. She noticed the shirt he had left on the floor and stood without any conscious thought. She pulled in on over her head, taking in the soft, masculine scent of her departing boyfriend. She turned to find him. Her heart tore a little as he reached the door. "Bye baby. You know I love you?"

She forced herself to stay where she was. "I know," she whispered.

He kept her gaze for a minute more. Then he was gone.

She heard the front door click shut.

_Baby, don't go._

_

* * *

_

A/N: Let me know what you think! Reviews make me a happy girl. Stick around for the finale, when I finally wrap this thing up in a neat little package. Peace easy.


	5. Part 5

A/N: Here's the final chapter of Shiner. Funny story. I had the majority of this chapter done before Lost Frontier even released. And then life happened, and my sister had another baby and my aunt died and college caught up with me and commenced beating my ass with a cinderblock. After I got my shit together, I decided it was time to re-prioritize so I never get buried like that again. So the fic was put on the backburner yet again. The good news is, I'm a semester away from obtaining my English major and I have never been more in love than I am with my fiancé. The dust has finally settled down enough for me to finish my story. And so, for the final time, thanks for all your patience, and my apologies to those who have been kept waiting. I hope you enjoy! Drop me a review if you can, let me know if it was worth it. Peace!

* * *

It had been almost a week.

Sunday had been the worst. Keira hadn't gotten any sleep, her dreams being of the guilty variety the night before. She had woken up much earlier than usual, forced into the waking world by her sinister dreams. Her drowsy mind had immediately instructed her to find comfort.

She rolled to her side, searching for her lover. "Baby?" she pleaded softly. But Jak's side of the bed was cold. Only then did the pieces fall back into place, and she fought the desperation that threatened to consume her. She couldn't stand to look at the empty place that Jak should have been occupying, so she turned back over, resolutely depressed. She tried her hardest to remind herself that this wasn't a permanent wound, that Jak would come home and everything would be okay. She rolled this notion back and forth in her mind, trying to lull herself into a state of placation.

_Deep breaths. Close your eyes, try to sleep. It's going to be okay._

But it wasn't okay. She couldn't accept that it was going to get there, either. Defeated, Keira curled up as tightly as she could and started to sob quietly.

Two hours later, the phone began to ring. The first few chirps didn't register as something that demanded attention. Keira listened to them in a semi-catatonic state, watery green eyes half open. On the third ring, recognition penetrated, and she pushed the covers back dutifully. Suddenly, the hope that Jak was on the other end of the line dawned on her, and her movements became urgent and purposeful.

She stumbled into the living room and found the phone on the fifth ring.

"Jak?" she answered, her voice a pathetically raw supplication.

"This is an automated message: Hello racer, this call is to remind you that the Class Three qualifying race takes place this Saturday at one o clock. Racers should attend formal ceremonies at noon…"

Keira could have dropped the phone out of disappointment. There was no real need to listen to the rest of the message; she got the same heads-up every year for the Class Three. But she was lonely, and any voice at all was better than the silence she had been suffering through all morning.

"…be sure to be registered by Wednesday at the latest. Good luck!" Click.

Setting aside the phone was the hardest thing she could remember doing. Daxter's number was on speed dial, she could call just to make sure that Jak was doing okay…

But no. That had been part of the deal, she wouldn't allow herself to contact him. She wasn't supposed to be killing herself with worry over him. She was supposed to be finding ways to cope alone.

The next hour was spent in agonizing boredom, every empty second reminding her that she was entirely alone. She toyed with the idea of going back to Samos' and asking to borrow Dawg for the day, if only to keep her company. But she was afraid that her father would see through her. It seemed like a pretty transparent move to her.

She couldn't stay there all day. Everything kept coming back to Jak's absence. She felt a longing for him that manifested itself as a palpable pain in her chest. It didn't' surprise her that her heart physically hurt; she had become accustomed to that particular ache during the two years she had been separated from Jak and her father. She needed a distraction bad.

Without really having formed a plan, Keira searched her bedroom for her keys. They weren't in the pockets of yesterday's jeans and they weren't on the bedside table. She opened her mouth to call out to her lover to ask him if he'd seen them, but the question died in her throat.

Frustrated almost to tears, she skulked into the living room and found her jacket on the sofa. Absentmindedly, she fished through its pockets and was startled to actually find the missing keys.

She left without bothering to lock the door.

* * *

"Keira Hagai. Good to see you back this year." The young man threw her a nervous smile.

Keira tried to smile back, but she just wasn't feeling it. "Thanks." She didn't recognize him, but he certainly knew who she was. He handed her the paperwork, two thin sheets stapled at the corners. She accepted them and turned to sit at a bench across from the desk.

She had snatched a pen off of the desk before the receptionist had had a chance to greet her. The first page was general information and Keira tackled it mechanically. Registering for races normally didn't take long, and her mind wandered to other mundane tasks she could do to get through the day. She was filling out her phone number when she felt the urge to look up.

The young receptionist was staring at her. When she caught him, he glanced away sheepishly. Disconcerted, Keira went back to her paperwork. It wasn't long before she felt his eyes on her again.

She finished the registration as fast as she could. She took the papers back to the desk and offered the man a shaky smile. Quickly, she turned to leave.

"Says here you'll be driving." His voice caught her off guard. Hesitantly, she turned around to face him.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that… last season you had a different driver. Jak?" He sounded genuinely curious.

Keira fought back the involuntary flinch. "That's right. My boyfriend."

The man's back straightened. "Oh. He's… he's not on the roster. Did you two…?"

Keira had had a hint of where this was headed, and she made an attempt to stop it before it took off. "No. We're together. I just didn't want him racing this year, that's all. He's already got too much fanfare."

The receptionist visibly slumped. "I see," he said, trying to mask the disappointment. "I guess you don't have any room for another driver? I uh, I race myself. Nothing big league, but I've been trying to get more involved in the whole…"

Keira cut him off.

"I don't really need any drivers this year. But maybe next season I'll have a place open? You would have to send me your credentials, and you have to understand that I can't hire anyone without real experience." She hoped that this would stun him enough that she would have a chance to leave.

He did look surprised. "Well, yeah, I mean I definitely understand that. Um, thank you! I can do mechanic work too, I've taken classes and my father is…"

"That would be great. Just send me some credentials before next season?" The young man nodded numbly. Keira sighed under her breath and turned again.

Outside, she took a deep breath of fresh air and ran a hand through her hair. She severely doubted that the kid could race. It was admirable of him to try to get more involved. He had even stooped to volunteering for registration duty. But without a trophy or any real chops, she knew she wouldn't be getting any resumes from him any time soon. She didn't want a new driver anyway.

She straddled the zoomer and pulled away from the uptown building and headed for the racing complex to gather some tools.

* * *

Monday came with Keira still at work upstairs. She hadn't realized how late it had become, and when she glanced at the wall clock she was startled. The heaviness of exhaustion assaulted her then. She held her forearms out in front of her. They were black with grease. She knew she had it in her hair and on her jeans, and the thought of going to bed like that made her cringe. She needed a hot shower.

She wiped down and hung up the ratchet she had been using and scanned the machine. She had a bit more work to do on it the following day, mostly fine tuning. And then there was the NYFE in the garage to finish. She had her work cut out for her.

She flipped the light off and made her way downstairs, careful not to touch the banister. She showered, barely able to keep her eyes open, and stumbled off to bed.

She woke at one. Half the day had gone by while she slept. She was drowsy and disoriented and couldn't understand why it was so late. She rolled over to ask Jak why he hadn't tried to wake her before she realized that he wouldn't be there. Her heart panged painfully and she buried her face in her pillow.

Suddenly it hit her that she had made it through the day. She could call Daxter's and talk to her boyfriend. Jak could come home!

Exhilarated, she sat up and shoved the covers away. She hurried to the living room and reached for the phone, but her hand stopped inches away. The little red indicator at the base was blinking. She had missed a call.

Keira pushed the button below the red light and braced herself for the message.

_Beep. _"Baby?"

Jak's voice.

"It's me, Keir. I just wanted to talk. Call me back? I'm still at Daxter's. He's driving me nuts." There was a muffled protest from the ottsel in the background. Jak chuckled. "Okay babe, just call back when you can." A pause. "I miss you." _Click._

"I miss you too," she whispered. She reached for the phone. Just as she was dialing, the phone came alive in her hand. Startled, her instinct was to drop the phone, but she knew that it might be Jak calling. She pushed the Call button.

"Hello?"

" Miss Hagai?" A male voice, but not Jak's. Keira's heart sank.

"Yes." She didn't try to hide her dejection.

"Um, hi. This is Kato. I'm sorry to bother you at home but…"

Keira frowned. "I'm sorry," she interrupted. "Who?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, Kato. We met yesterday? I'm the racing registration receptionist. The triple R. Ha. See what I did there? I…"

He must have been able to sense Keira's blank stare.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway. I ran through your registration this morning and I wanted to let you know that everything seems to be in order."

Keira rolled her eyes. "Great. See you around."

"Well hang on! I mean," he hesitated. "You didn't specify an inspection date. I thought maybe you'd already had it done, but you didn't mark anything that would…"

God this kid was annoying.

Keira ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. "I'm a licensed mechanic. I do my own inspections."

"Yeah, but… hold on. There's something in the reprint about this, let me find it…" She could hear rustling noises on the other end.

She waited for half a minute before pressing the kid again. He seemed frazzled, but that really wasn't her problem.

"Okay, listen, what reprint? Every year I perform formal inspections with a notary present. She signs off on it and it's never been an issue before."

A muffled curse. "Okay. Have you had it done yet?" He was beginning to sound condescending.

Keira's back straightened in offense. "No," she informed him coldly. "I haven't quite finished the fine tuning on my racer." As an afterthought, she added, "Is there someone else I could speak to? Someone older?"

There was stunned silence for a moment. Keira grinned smugly. She hoped that the remark had landed.

"No ma'am, I am the only one available at this time." His voice sounded clipped and professional now. Good."The reason for my concern is that the rule reprint was sent out later than usual this year. Some individuals haven't received it yet."

She sighed into the receiver. "Again with this reprint thing."

"Yes, the regulations and guidelines are revised and reprinted as necessary every four years. You didn't know?" His voice held no emotion. It sounded like he was reading from a cue card, and the formality was beginning to creep her out.

Unnerved by his change in attitude, she dropped her chilly hostility. "No, I've only been racing for three years." The implications of this began to sink in and she moaned in despair. "Alright, this is pretty big for me. Is there somewhere I can run out and grab a copy of the new print?"

Sensing the panic in her voice, Kato returned to his own awkward speech. "Sure, sure. Um. We've got extra copies in the back. Wanna swing by sometime today? I'll run back and get you one."

_No, I do not wanna swing by, you creepy quasi-stalker. _

"Fine. Whatever it takes." Belatedly, she added, "Thanks."

"No problem. Hey, listen, I wouldn't get too worked up if I were you. I'm pretty sure nothing substantial has been changed."

Keira put the phone back on the charger. "I hope so."

* * *

The rulebook was thankfully unchanged for the most part. There was a new maximum gear ratio enforced, probably to save a few bucks where engine construction was concerned. Keira made a note to adjust for that. Otherwise, things looked very familiar. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Now all she had to do was finish tweaking the racers and get them inspected by a different mechanic. There had been some conflict of interest issue with Keira checking her own vehicles. It seemed stupid to her, but she knew contesting it was futile. It was in the rules now.

By the time she had picked up her new copy and gotten home, it was two thirty. By the time she had satisfied herself with rereading the guidelines, it was close to six. She had racing on the brain; it seemed like there was no room for anything else in her mind. The closer the Class Three came, the more antsy Keira felt. She couldn't help thinking that she was going to forget something. She would think that she was all set and then something would prevent her from competing, whether it was some misfiled paperwork or some oversight on her part…

Determined to race, she headed upstairs to go over the racer once more, rulebook in hand.

* * *

Tuesday passed in a flurry of phone calls and last minute adjustments to the upstairs racer. She managed to get an appointment with a licensed inspector for Friday. That meant she needed to kick it up a notch in preparations, as both of her NYFE vehicles needed checked. The racer on the second floor was finished, but she wanted to get a coat of wax on it before putting it on the track. And she needed to warp the finished vehicle out to the garage and then send the NYFE from the garage back upstairs… That was a lot of running.

Wednesday came and went. She managed to swap the racers in order to work on the second and started adjustments that night. She worked until early morning, her mind rushing in an incoherent whirl. Her mental checklist was getting shorter, but her anxiety was mounting. She didn't get much sleep that night.

Thursday was spent on the racer. There was less work to do on this one and she was surprised to finish mid-afternoon. She cleaned up and made sure she left the warp pad on. She thought she would drive back to the garage and bring the second racer over and take them both out on the track for a few laps, just to make sure.

At this point, she was trying to ignore the empty feeling in her chest. It had remained as potent as it was the second Jak left, but Keira was doing her best to live with it. Her thinking had been primarily soaked up by the upcoming race, and what was left was nothing more than an uncomfortable, hollow nagging at the back of her mind. She knew that something was wrong, something that she could identify in a heartbeat if she only devoted a little more attention. But the feeling wasn't a good one. It was as if she was waiting for test results. She wanted, _needed_ to know how they had turned out, but it was infinitely more comfortable in ignorance. She kept trying to push the worry away. Whatever it was, it would have to wait until after the Class Three.

_Jak._

She ground her teeth. That kept happening, that one word, his name being repeated through her mind when she least expected it. Some mental trip wire that kept reminding her there was something she was forgetting. She knew that the issue was going to act like an infection and get worse the longer she ignored it. But she was already under so much stress, she didn't think she could handle the inevitable confrontation and…

Confrontation? _Oh no…_

She had been disregarding Jak completely for the past three and a half days, and for no discernable reason. She had more than won the bet against her father. Nothing was stopping her from calling Jak and telling him to _please _come home. So now there was a new problem. She had to figure out why she was doing this to them, keeping them apart like this when there was nothing to gain. Maybe she did need therapy.

_Great._

Friday was long and unbearable. She met the mechanic at the garage as planned. He didn't speak much, but the good news was that everything checked out according to standards. She left the two NYFE racers sitting tuned, waxed and pristine in the garage. Now there was nothing left to do but wait.

_Jak._

Okay. It needed to be taken care of. She couldn't stand to wait until after the race to know how he was doing. She would call him and ask him to come home.

Keira picked up the phone and dialed Daxter's.

It rang seven times, and the voice mail picked up. Irritated, she hung up and dialed again.

"…think he would move the damn phone… less than two feet tall! Hello?"

"Hello, Tess?"

The ottsel's voice adjusted from irritated to conversational.

"Keira! Hey babe, how've you been?" Keira noted a hint of concern in the question.

"I've been… honestly? Tess I'm a wreck." She felt tears begin to heat the corners of her eyes. "I haven't had time for anything between working on the racers and worrying over the Class Three. I've been completely alone all week… I just haven't had time to be a girlfriend."

"Oh, Keira…" Warm sympathy did nothing to stem the tears that were now falling freely. Keira didn't realize how desperately desolate she had been feeling, didn't realize that she had been pushing back so much emotion.

Of course, it had just been her. She hadn't had any contact with friends or family, and that made it easier to neglect what she had been feeling. Hearing Tess's concern startled Keira into letting go.

"I miss him, Tess. Is he there? Can I please talk to him?"

Her friend hesitated, and that was enough to make her heart falter.

"He's mad at me." It wasn't a question.

"What? Oh, honey, no! He misses you so much."

"I haven't even talked to him since he walked out the door six days ago. Why wouldn't he be mad at me? _I'm _mad at me." She quickly reflected and found that it was true. She was disgusted with herself.

"Keira, I promise he's not mad at you. He's just… confused. He told me you just needed some space and a little time to figure some things out. And it's been a week…" she sounded like she was walking on eggshells. Keira felt lower than bedrock.

"I…" she began, searching for words to express how sorry she was. She wished Tess would just put Jak on.

"No, I understand! I'm just trying to help you see where he's at right now."

"Where… where _is _he at? Can I talk to him?" Her mind felt numb and her hands had begun to shake.

"He's out, Keir. He and Daxter left this morning. A club in Kras closed, and the boys made a deal with the owner to go pick up some of the furnishings for the Ottsel. They may not be back until tonight." The news hit Keira like a sledgehammer to the chest. Her head pounded and she just wanted to cry. Tess seemed to sense this in her silence. "But! He told me if you called, to tell you that he will call you back as _soon _as he gets back."

But she wanted to talk to him now.

_It's been six days. What's a few more hours? _It was a small comfort.

"Okay. Please don't forget?" She sounded pathetic, even to herself.

"I won't. First thing, I promise."

* * *

She tried watching T.V. She tried cooking, but that really wasn't her forte. She thought about taking a walk, but she knew that would force her to think and she didn't want to leave in case Jak called. Her choices were severely limited.

Finally, resigned, she curled up on the sofa with the phone and turned the T.V. back on. There was nothing on that interested her, but she found a crime drama marathon and tried to get into it.

Seven hours later and the phone was still silent. It was going on eleven o clock, and Keira was getting drowsy. She had pulled the blanket off of her bed and was wrapped up with the phone still held against her chest. Her head kept dipping forward in sleep only to be followed by that urgent jerk-awake that makes the heart beat faster. By midnight, she had fallen completely asleep.

The phone was ringing.

Keira's eyes came open. She had slumped over on her side and the phone had slipped to the floor. Quickly, she untangled herself from the blanket and reached for the it.

"Hello?" her voice was heavy with sleep.

"Did I wake you, beautiful?"

Jak! Keira's heart pounded and she couldn't keep the smile off her face at his words.

"I fell asleep waiting for your call. Jak, I miss you so much."

"Hey, I miss you too. I tried to call, I left messages…"

Keira shook her head, although she knew he couldn't see it. "I know. Things just… got crazy. I'm so sorry, baby. I wanted to call you back."

"Tess told me what you'd said." He sounded compassionate and understanding. Her heart squeezed.

"I…"

"Sweetheart, I understand. Sometimes life just takes off and you have to catch up any way you can. I just wish you knew you don't have to push me away to get things done. I want to be there to _help _you Keir. I promise I'm not going to get in your way."

Keira was stunned.

Is that why she was acting so different? The impending races had taken front seat to everything else, and she wasn't sure she would meet deadline when she had other… distractions?

_Oh my God. Why the hell was that so hard to figure out?_

She knew that that was it. When she thought about it, the weight left her chest. She felt like laughing at herself. It was so easy! And of course she didn't have to push Jak away!

"Jak, honey, please come home?" She was elated to have pinpointed the problem, but it didn't keep the plaintive desperation out of her question.

"I've just been waiting to hear that." Keira heard the warmth in his voice. "I'll be over first thing in the morning baby. I can't wait to see you."

She smiled into the phone. "Me neither."

* * *

She was able to sleep so much better with the knowledge that her relationship was safe and back on track. She could finally relax.

And that's what she blamed for the three extra hours of sleep that she stole the next morning. She had meant to wake up at eight in order to get ready and get to the track early. Her alarm clock did go off , but she had slept right through it. The previous week had taken a toll on her and she was paying for it in the most inconvenient way possible.

"Oh, _shit!_" she moaned, despairing. She scrambled to kick out of the blanket and headed for the bathroom. She didn't allow herself much time to clean up. It was already an hour before opening ceremonies and she wasn't going to be completely prepared for the race if she didn't get it in gear.

"Shit shit shit." How the hell had she managed to mess up the one morning she needed to be punctual?

She didn't have time to dry her hair.

She knew her first priority should have been getting to the track ASAP. But the one thing that kept returning to the forefront of her mind was the regret that she had missed Jak this morning.

_Damn it! Do I have time to call him? Will he even answer? I am such a worthless girlfriend… it's okay. I can apologize my brains out after the race. I hope he comes… What am I thinking, of course he'll come! I just pray he forgives me._

She made sure she had her ID and the ring that she kept the racers' keys on. She was about to head out the door when she remembered she hadn't had breakfast. Quickly, she retreated into the kitchen and snagged a banana off of the counter. She rushed back through the living room but hesitated when she saw the phone. A hurried glance at the wall clock told her she should move, but her heart pulled her back with an agonized groan.

Keira snatched the phone off its charger and dialed Daxter's without seeing the buttons. It rang and rang and rang. No one was picking up.

"Frick!" she hissed. She tossed the phone onto the sofa while she made her way to the door. She loved Jak so much, but he would just have to wait. Again.

* * *

He was already at the track.

She pulled up to the pylons blocking entrance to the individual garages and hopped down to walk her zoomer through. A man stood nearby, keeping an eye on the entrances. He looked up at Keira as if to stop her, and she fished in her pocket for her ID. She didn't need it, though, as the man recognized her, smiled, and nodded her through. Her hard-won reputation preceded her.

It was easier for her to keep her street vehicle in the garage while she raced. The first year she had made the mistake of leaving the zoomer in the parking lot with other civilian vehicles. Little did she know that rival teams had marked her zoomer. She'd had to hire someone to tow it back home.

She walked the semi-circle to her space to find Jak's custom blue zoomer pulled close to the locked doors of her garage. She grinned as she unlocked the heavy metal shutter. The guard at by the pylons must have thought he was racing for her this year.

She hooked her fingers under the metal frame and pushed the rolling door up. Absentmindedly, she flicked the light on and tossed her street's keys onto the workbench along with her banana. The NYFE racers sat where she had last left them next to the warp pad. She took a second to close her eyes and take a deep breath. She was there, nothing had gone wrong, she still had a fair chance at the trophy. More than a fair chance.

_And Jak will be cheering me from the stands…_

It occurred to her that it didn't matter whether or not she won. As long as she got to see her lover, today was a good day.

She smiled again, excitement beginning to kick up her adrenaline. She fidgeted, unable to decide what to do with these last few minutes before joining the opening ceremonies. Walking to the pegboard over the bench, she scanned her tools as if to assure herself that everything was in its place. She reached out to touch a monkey wrench she hardly used. Her eye caught the discarded banana she had brought.

_No sense racing on an empty stomach._

She picked up the banana and leaned back against the workbench. Just as she began to peel the fruit, the intercom above her garage door hissed into life.

"Attention all racers. Please report to the track office and check in with master of ceremonies Bry Ankar. Absentees will be disqualified."

Keira rolled her eyes. _So much for breakfast. _She put the fruit back on the bench and walked back out along the paved semi-circle. As she passed Jak's zoomer, she let her hand trail over the seat lovingly.

* * *

After checking in, Keira took a few minutes to mingle with fellow racers. As she had feared, the Kras boys were back this year. She threw the NYFE jockey a forced smile and hoped that it would discourage him from pushing her into a wall on the track. He winked at her in reply, which just made her grimace.

Aside from Kras City, there didn't seem to be much in the way of hard competition. She breathed a little easier. After prying herself from the conversations of nervous and confident jockeys alike, Keira scanned the stands. She knew that the odds of spotting Jak were next to nothing, but it helped to know that he was out there somewhere.

She got shuffled around in the crowd on the way back to her garage. Her next task was to bring her NYFE out to the track for the lineup and last minute inspections. These were to make sure no contestants had changed anything since the initial inspection and were very reasonable, but they took forever. At least there was entertainment on the field while they waited.

She pushed her way past the last of the stragglers and finally her garage was in sight. She walked her primary racer out and hesitated next to Jak's vehicle. A thought struck her and she grinned to herself. She left the racer for a moment and took Jak's handlebars. She walked the zoomer into the garage next to hers and pulled the rolling door shut. Now he wouldn't be able to leave without talking to her.

Then she began the tedious trek back to the track. This was always harder because race fans and kids never gave her enough space. They wanted autographs and permission to touch 'her ride.' The meaning of that phrase differed from fan to fan, and she almost began to wish she had allowed Jak to race this year just to escape the harassment. She got a little thrill out of imagining Jak's fist connecting with those men's kidneys.

Keira stepped out onto the track to the sound of applause. It always made her feel good to hear the support of a few thousand fans. Graciously, she turned her smile on the crowd and offered a celebratory wave. Her arm froze in mid-gesture.

There was Jak, making his way back up the stands, balancing three pretzels and a soda. Before she could stop herself, Keira cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted to be heard over the roar of the audience.

"Jak! Jak? Baby?"

He didn't hear her. He edged by other seated fans to reach his spot, mumbling apologies to those he passed. Keira hurried to set her vehicle up beside the others and then ran to the side of the track closest to the stands.

"Jak!"

He was facing the track now, and he just happened to see her there at the edge of the stands. His expression broke into a beaming smile. He mouthed 'Hi, baby girl.'

Keira's heart swelled. She smiled back. "Where are you?"

Jak furrowed his brow, trying to read her lips. Then her raised the hand with the soda and pointed as best he could toward the far end of the bleachers. Keira followed his hand with her eyes and found the two indiscriminate orange shapes she was looking for. Daxter wasn't paying attention; he was too busy trying to steal a piece of red licorice from the kid in front of him. Tess saw her though, and she waved enthusiastically and shouted something that Keira couldn't make out. She brought her gaze back to Jak and nodded to signal she understood.

Jak held up one finger. 'Wait.'

Keira obliged. He finished squeezing by irate race fans and handed the soda to Daxter and then set the pretzels down in his seat. With his free hands he signed 'I love you' in the air.

Touched, Keira signed back. Their eyes held for a long moment, and Keira wanted so much to throw the race just to be in his arms. But what would have been the point of the past week if she did that? Hell no, she was going to race.

"All racers to the lineup." The crowd grew louder at this announcement. Keira didn't want to pull herself away from those gorgeous blue eyes, but the race was moments away. She backed away from the stands and blew him a kiss. He crossed his fingers and held them up for her to see, mouthing 'Good luck!'

She tried to shake the grin off her face. It was racing time. She couldn't afford to be distracted.

The other racers were already settling into the saddles of their respective vehicles. Keira did the same, quickly finding her game face. No city anthem was played this year to kick things off. The old song had been discarded along with the old regime and nothing suitable had been found to replace it yet.

There was however, a quick introductory speech. The announcer listed each contestant and bade them all good luck before the lights were dropped.

_Here we go. Eyes on the prize. The sooner I make three laps, the sooner I get to see Jak._

Funny how her motivation had shifted.

Her left hand twisted the newly reinstalled grip ever so slightly and the motor growled in anticipation. Slowly, each of the red lights flashed green.

Green. Green.

_Green._

She had timed for the last light and was off before the final notifying _beep _had fully sounded. Only one other racer had matched her launch, and there was another close on her tail. She glimpsed her competition out of her periphery and saw with a hint of trepidation that her hunch had been right: the man from Kras City was going to be a handful.

She knew she wasn't going to be able to use her old standby of keeping up with the head of the pack and taking the lead early in the third. Kras was going to blow her out of the water by then. Quickly, she rethought her race plan.

_I could always try to run him in as soon as I get a chance. _But if she drove him into a wall, that broke an unspoken truce between her and the other racers. Generally, the rule was to drive honorably. There was no written rule against being _aggressive_,and in fact the audience seemed to love it. But there was a certain decorum between racers, and once someone started fighting dirty, it was on.

She wasn't sure that she wanted that. At least not yet.

She kept up with Kras the entire first lap, but she felt that he was just waiting for the right moment to blast by her. A few times she glanced over at him to gauge his strategy, and once he caught her eye and gave her a secretive grin. Irritated, Keira pointed with two fingers at her goggles and then pointed ahead at the track. _Eyes on the road, killer._

Bad move in hindsight. Kras laughed and shook his head. Without warning, he kicked the engine up a notch and roared past. Before he took first, he blew Keira a sly kiss.

She was surprised, a little confused, and definitely offended. Now she had a whole new reason to want that trophy.

Unfortunately, the Kras contestant had spurred the rest of the pack into a frenzied shuffle for rank. The racer that had been following close now pulled up alongside Keira. It was only the halfway mark, and already she could feel the tension usually reserved for the finishing line.

She could serpentine to cut ahead of the new threat, but then she would lose more ground on Kras. He was her real competition. She wasn't driving as fast as she would have liked to be, but there were a few rolling turns coming up and she didn't want to risk trashing the NYFE. However, she knew this track like the inner workings of Jak's first zoomer. At the end of three turns, there was a straightaway that led almost to the end of lap two. She would lose the stragglers there.

She took the turns like a pro, cleaving her way through the middle so as to avoid riding high on the walls. She knew Jak would chastise her if she rode high on turns. The thought made her smile. She couldn't wait to get to him.

She came out of the last turn and wasted no time with the boost she had been saving. Her engine was capable of about four seconds before it would overheat, and she timed it just right. She hunkered down over the handlebars and punched it.

She blew through the straightaway and turned hard to fly past the lap marker. One lap to go, and she was playing a close second. Time to shine.

She was a few yards behind first. Her engine wasn't going to be up for another boost until the end of the lap, and that wasn't going to help her now. The best she could do until then was keep to the middle and try not to lose any more ground. She hoped that the Kras contender would get cocky and maybe a little sloppy.

The last lap always ended much sooner than expected, especially when you weren't riding first. Those rolling turns were just ahead. She had gained a yard on Kras, and he was very aware of it. Again, she kept low on the turns and picked up a few more feet. She prayed that he wouldn't use a boost for the win.

She came out of the turn and saw him position his foot over the boost pedal…

_Shit._

His foot came down. Keira gritted her teeth and went for broke. She wasn't going to win, but she would damn well take close second.

Her own foot touched the boost pedal and she peeled off onto the straightaway. It happened so fast she wasn't sure that she had finished until she heard the screams of the crowd double in intensity. She already knew that she'd lost. She braked and swerved the vehicle sideways to slide to a halt and dismounted in disgust. She wanted so bad to show up that chauvinistic prick from Kras… She had to fight the urge to kick the NYFE or push it into the wall. This was the first time she'd lost a qualifying race since she had settled down in Haven.

Her mind buzzed angrily, and she totally missed the announcer calling the name of the winner. She turned around to watch the others finish.

The Kras racer crossed the line just as she looked up.

She was stunned into temporary paralysis. _What? How the hell…_

"Keira Hagai! No surprise there, folks. What's this, her fourth year?"

"Third, I believe. Whichever, she's certainly got a following, look at that crowd!"

The announcers continued to chatter, but Keira couldn't comprehend anything at the moment. How had she managed to win? She saw him hit the boost. It just didn't make any sense. She couldn't really be happy about a win that she couldn't understand.

She was swept up by a few officials who led her down the way to the winner's circle.

* * *

Back in her garage, she set the trophy on the workbench and sat back to stare at it in bafflement. Nobody had bothered to explain it to her yet. She shook her head and sighed. She was beat.

_How the hell did I pull this off?_

She was so dazed that her mind refused to produce a feasible theory. She leaned back against the counter to think, her eyes never leaving the trophy's shine. Not one cogent word graced her fatigued mind in the span of five minutes. Her eyelids began to get heavy. She was sleepier than she had thought. The past week's sporadic sleep schedule was starting to catch up with her.

She heard the incoherent rumble of several people talking at once grow louder. Wearily, she turned her head to watch the stream of racers and team members shuffle past her open garage door. A few of them glanced into the garage, either to nod in Keira's direction or to spear her with their envious hatred. She didn't care. She could feel the corners of her mouth twitch up in amusement when the looks were particularly venomous.

She shook her head and pushed herself away from the counter still grinning.

_Every year. _

Keira picked up the trophy and held it at arms' length, studying it in the hopes that it would give up its answer. _Well, I may not know what happened, but it's mine now. _She turned to carry her newest prize to the shelf nominated for that purpose. She was running low on room; soon she would have to buy another shelf to accommodate her winnings.

She stood back to admire the trophy settled among the others. After a moment, she ran a hand through her hair. It didn't matter how long she looked at it, this win wasn't going to make any sense to her. Had the man from Kras let her win? That possibility didn't sit well with her, and she scowled. If that were the case, she felt it would have been an empty win. She may even hock the damn trophy.

Now frustrated, she moved to tend to her racers while she waited for Jak to make his way through the departing crowd to her garage. There was a man standing in the open doorframe.

Keira hesitated, her tired brain working to recognize him.

_Kras?_

He looked like he had been in mid-step, but had paused to acknowledge her on his way by. His expression was one of sober humility. He looked like a man who had sincerely lost.

_Wait… so, he _didn't _let me win? _Confused, she nodded at him in greeting. He nodded back.

"I just wanted to say, good race," he offered, his voice level and polite. Keira caught a hint of disappointment, but nothing hostile aimed at her. He sounded genuine.

Trepidation dissolved into confusion. She had to make sure.

"Was it?" she replied, arching an eyebrow skeptically.

The Kras driver looked affronted.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Keira felt her face flush with heat. "I've been trying to figure out how that trophy ended up on my shelf instead of yours. You had the win."

She peeked at his face tentatively. He stared for a moment, the cogs struggling to click into place. Then he smiled, unable to hide his amusement when he realized her concern. He laughed shortly.

"You think I threw the race?" Another chuckle. "Why the hell would I hand you first if I was going to win? Sorry kid, I would have pinned you to the wall if I could have."

A new voice entered the conversation. "Care to repeat that?"

Startled, the Kras driver spun around to find Jak standing just behind him.

"Do I know you, fella?"

"No," Jak smiled sarcastically. "But I'm about to introduce my foot to your ass if you have any more offensive remarks for my girlfriend."

The driver's face blanched. Keira had to fight the laughter out of her voice when she spoke.

"Baby it's okay," she interrupted, unable to suppress the smile in her tone. "We were talking about the race. Just the race." She smiled at Jak in amused appreciation. He grinned back at her.

He pushed his way past Kras and took his place behind his lover. From there he glared at the racer. "Well, carry on," he said mock-flippantly.

Keira laughed quietly and reached behind her to take his hand in hers. He obliged, and she squeezed it lovingly.

It took a moment for the stunned driver to shake off Jak's abrasive entrance. Keira broke the silence.

"If you didn't let me win, then what happened? Did I hit a wormhole?"

Kras shook his head and grinned. "My boost pedal jammed. I came down on it too hard and it just locked up. You passed me when you used yours. No wormhole."

"Oh, no way." Keira felt her shoulders slump in relaxation. She wanted to laugh out loud, but she was afraid of offending the driver. "Wow. Listen, I…"

Kras stopped her with an excusing gesture. "Hey, don't worry about it. You obviously spent more time with your vehicle than I did. I won't make that mistake again." He paused in reflection for a moment, then smiled up at her. "I've got to be on my way. But congratulations." He extended his hand.

Keira shook it. "I look forward to meeting you on the track again."

"When I get that pedal fixed, you may change your mind about that," he laughed. He turned and disappeared with a nod.

Keira immediately spun to face her long-neglected boyfriend. Without preamble, she met his lips in an exhausted kiss. Jak laughed when she pulled away and shook his head. "God I've missed you."

"Sweetheart, I've missed you too. So, so much." She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms about his waist. Here in his embrace, she forgot the past week of anxiety and emotional turmoil. All that mattered was here and now. She felt safe, wrapped in his love. She wanted to go home and crawl into bed with him, to hold him and feel his rough hands on her skin. She breathed in his scent, something she had been missing all week. "Jak?"

"I'm right here baby." His voice was soothing.

She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. "I love you. Can we go home?"

He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

* * *

Jak held Keira as she rested on his lap. They were seated comfortably on the sofa back home. All the lights in the house were off save for the illumination of the television. It was on, but neither one of them were watching it. Keira's eyes had drifted shut and Jak watched her doze. She smiled sleepily when he lightly brushed her face with his fingertips. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have him. He was so good to her, even when she didn't deserve it.

It turned out there was no need for the lengthy apology she had been planning for. As soon as Jak had walked back in the door it was like he had never left. He hadn't asked for a deeper explanation of her odd behavior or sulked over the loss of an entire week together. He _had_ congratulated her, kissed her, held her and loved her. In return, she had clung to him tightly and kissed him until she was too tired to keep her eyes open. Jak instructed her to rest, and she didn't protest when he laid her down and put her head in his lap.

Now, as he touched her face tenderly, she felt the warmth of happy tears tickle the back of her eyes. She opened them and found Jak's face.

"Hello gorgeous," he whispered smilingly.

She smiled back and took his hand. She pressed it to her lips.

"Jak? I… I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Shh. Keir there's nothing to make up for. Baby you should rest." He squeezed her hand. "You've had a big day."

"Jak. I swear I will never push you away again. You didn't deserve to be shut out." At this point she was so sleepy her words were bleeding into each other.

Jak chuckled. Afraid that he wasn't taking her seriously, Keira forced the sleep out of her voice. She opened her eyes and shook her head to wake up. She offered him a hurt look.

"I'm sorry girl, you're just so cute when you're tired. I'm listening." He ran a hand through her hair gently.

"I mean it. I acted like a psycho. You're the one person I want to keep close to me, especially when I'm freaking out. I need you, Jak." Her eyes never wavered from his.

Jak sensed the urgency of her tone and sobered. "I need you too, Keira. But you don't have to keep apologizing. Stress does weird shit to people." He grinned ironically. "Just be thankful you don't sprout horns and claws every time you get upset. I'd take your brand of psycho over mine any day."

Keira smiled in spite of herself.

"But seriously, I'm always going to be here. If you ever need a little time to yourself, I'll understand. All I ask is that you keep this in mind: I love you, and I'll never stop loving you, no matter what. You never have to worry about that." He leaned in and kissed her lips slowly. Keira sighed contentedly into his mouth and placed her palm on the side of his face. Jak pulled back and smiled slyly. His eyes radiated mischief. "But… if you really want to make it up to me, there is one thing you could do."

Keira laughed out loud. "Oh yeah?" she asked seductively. "And what might that be my love?"

Jak leaned in again to administer Eskimo kisses. "Let me drive for you."

The request surprised Keira, but she wasn't displeased. She grinned at him roguishly. "I suppose I could do that…" She pretended to mull it over for a second. "But… what if I want to _win_?"

Jak's jaw dropped. "What are you trying to tell me?" His words were warningly playful. Keira knew she was in trouble now.

She giggled. "I don't know, I just thought I may want to hire a _good _driver… Oh no!" She erupted into laughter as Jak's fingers found her ticklish sides.

"Oh, you're in it now!" Jak threatened teasingly. Keira rolled from side to side, but there was no escaping his wrath.

"Oh crap please no more Jak! Okay okay, you can drive, you're in you're hired oh god hahahaha baby stop stop stop I can't breathe!" She tried pushing his hands away, but he was too strong. And it seemed like he wasn't going to stop until it became a medical emergency. Her only chance was to play the pity card. "Jak! Baby, please? I'm hahaha I'm so tired please let's go to bed?"

He let up. She caught her breath and smiled warmly at him. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Tired, huh? Dirty trick."

She laughed. "No, I really am. Come to bed?"

His expression relaxed into the open, loving smile she couldn't live without. "Yeah baby." He stood up and held out a hand to help her to her feet. She staggered sleepily and Jak used her lack of balance to pull her against his chest. His arms locked around her, encompassing her in protective warmth. Keira smiled, genuinely happy for the first time in what seemed like an endless week. Her arms found their way around his neck. He kissed the top of her head and spoke into her hair. "I love you Keira. You're my world."

Her heart twisted. "I love you too Jak. More than anything."

They held one another for a few long minutes. Finally, Keira raised her head to meet Jak's blue eyes.

"Jak?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

She smiled. "Welcome home."

* * *

FINAL A/N: Well, that's it for me folks. I know I've said it before, but I mean it this time. Fanfiction has provided me with a creative outlet and a public place to get a lot of awesome feedback. I can't thank you enough, readers, for sticking with me through each story and every delayed chapter. I really truly enjoyed writing for you guys. But it's time for me to focus on the bigger picture. I think I've had enough practice with other people's characters. Time to give my own a chance to develop. As it stands, I've got four solid outlines for separate novels and I've gotten a great headstart on my first book. Between the feedback from all of you and my published short story, I feel confident enough to get underway with my dream. Although you know me as AlternativeDelirium, my real name is Kristin Neal. So if you are a fan of what I've done here and you're into vampires, dark fiction and Alice in Wonderland, keep an eye out for future books. Again, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read. I am certainly richer for this experience. Reviews are more than welcome. The only thing left to say is goodbye and good luck to all you aspiring writers! It's been a fun ride. Peace easy.

-AlternativeDelirium


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